Life is so interesting. It's impossible to expect anything, because life is so full of the unexpected.
Those of you that know me well know that I am not given to emotional outbursts. I am an extremely emotional person, but not so that anyone would notice...in other words, I usually appear to be on an emotionally even keel. And, usually, that assumption would be accurate because my emotions do not control me. To state the fact succinctly (maybe it's too late for that!): I am an emotionally stable person.
The other thing you should know about me is that while things like the weather do not usually affect me emotionally, change does. I do not like change. I like routine and familiarity. I have a hard time dealing with the changes that occur as a normal rite in the passage of time.
One of these changes that is hard for me is when friendships change. I find myself completely emotionally traumatized when a relationship is broken, but even the "ebbs and flows" in a friendship affect me greatly. I suppose we would all prefer, to a certain extent, to stay close to the people we care about. I am not suggesting that I am alone in this, or that my feelings are unique to me. Whatever the case, my emotions are dealt a hard blow when I am forced to realize that something within a friendship has changed.
Okay, enough generalizing. Last night, for the first time in a long time, I was able to take some time for focusing inwardly and taking stock of my life, and I was confronted with the reality that life is full of changes! When I compare my life right now with this time last year, I am amazed at the changes in relationships that have taken place. People I thought I would never be close to are now some of my closest friends. Others that I was close to are now a distant memory of closeness and sharing. The latter are the changes that make me sad. In fact, last night, I became quite melancholy (what a great word!) thinking about this. It's truly depressing to think about some of the people whose friendship I valued, but who did not care enough to try to keep in touch and stay close. I will admit that I went to bed without resolving anything, although I did refuse to allow myself a pity party!
This morning I woke up determined to commit those things to God and let Him control the direction of my life and my relationships. And I did that. And I received several assurances that His promises are true.
Around 7-7:15 this morning, the light was very weird in the KC metro area, for lack of better terminology. I guess it was the early morning sunlight shining through all the humidity, but the light was kind of yellowish-orange. Very weird. Anyway, just as I was getting ready to drive my bus, I saw the most amazing thing. A rainbow. A full rainbow making its perfect arch right over the school. It reassured me that God knows what He's doing, He's got His eye on me and His hand over my life.
Before I got off bus run, one of my friends who I am trying to keep in contact with called and left a message, asking me to get together with her next week. A reminder of God's love shining through my friend.
A text message from my cousin came mid-morning, telling me it's National I LOVE YOU Day and that he loves me. When I sent the message on to several people, one of my friends that I hadn't heard from in a long time responded, telling me he loved me and would call me later.
A friend that I hadn't seen in about a week came in to see me during class today, just to check up on me and say hi.
All of these things may seem small to you, but they were all evidences to me of God's hand on my life. I hope that He keeps opening my eyes to the fact that He brings blessings into my life every day, and I pray that I have the good sense to recognize His amazing presence!
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