Lately, my heart and mind have been so full that it's been hard to find the words. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you, but it does to me, and it's my blog, so deal. :) hah. Seriously though...
One thing I've been thinking alot about is passion. No, not THAT kinda passion. But the kind of passion that makes you love what you love. Ya know? For one thing, people are always asking me why I'm still single (I know, stupid question...and I'm sorry if you've ever asked me that...it's still a stupid question...;) and I think I finally have an answer I can express! I've always known, but haven't had the words for it. But I think it's because if I were to ever sacrifice my independence for a relationship, it would have to be for someone who had similar passions to mine. And I have yet to meet someone like that. Which, by the way, is totally fine with me, because contrary to popular opinion, single people are not "faulty" or "broken"...we are just fine! And lest this begin to sound like some bitter diatribe against marriage or commitment, those who know me can testify that nothing could be further from the truth. I support marriage and I am incredibly happy and supportive of all my friends who have chosen that path. I do not, however, believe that is God's plan for everyone...and while I would not go so far as to say it's not God's plan for me EVER, I would say it's obviously not His plan YET! SO...all that to say that I've been thinking a lot about my passions lately. Those things in my life that are close to my heart. I guess you could say these last few months have included some major self-discovery. And it's been very interesting, to say the least. Take my word for it.
Another thing that I've been thinking about is change. How our lives are filled with such irony and transitions. I was reminded of this again tonight by a dear friend who is graduating this week. But the passages of life...they are so necessary and can be so heartbreaking! Over the past year and a half, I have realized more and more that life hurts. And the more I think about it, the more I really think that's how it's supposed to be. I don't think we were put on this earth to be comfortable. I don't think we were put here to be necessarily happy. I think it's great if we happen to be those things...but I certainly don't think that is God's main intention for our lives. And I think the changes and seasons of life come along to remind us of that. These are thoughts that I'm still processing, obviously, but God has been reminding me lately that I'm here for HIS purposes, not mine. If this life happens to bring me a measure of happiness and comfort, great. But if my life pleases Him and brings Him glory through the pain and discomfort, then I believe I will have lived my life to the fullest. At the judgment, I don't believe God is going to ask me, "Were you happy on earth? Did you have a comfortable, enjoyable life?" Don't get me wrong, I believe God wants to bring us joy because He loves us. But when He judges my life, I hope He sees that I served Him with abandon, holding nothing back, and allowing Him to mold and shape me through every circumstance of life.
My intention is to live my life in complete surrender to God. I know I will mess up at times, and I won't be the perfect example of His grace. Thankfully, God looks at the heart. He's sees my motives and my intentions. He knows I love Him with my entire being, and that's all that matters.
For all my friends and family, both near and far, I pray that God makes you a useful vessel for His use! May we all live lives that are dedicated to complete service to Him. I love you all.
