safe.

When you hear or see the word "safe" what comes to mind? A locked box hidden in a wall that protects your valuables? An umpire in a baseball game as the player slides home? Safety takes many forms. What does it look like for you? What makes you feel safe?

I have become convinced in the past several years that safety is a fundamental need for most humans. We need to feel safe. We need to feel that, whatever happens, we are protected. We need physical safety. We need the assurance that our physical bodies are not going to be in danger from violence, disease, or disaster. We seek out protection and treatment and assistance, and when those fail, our world shifts. A perceived lack of physical safety can cause fear and despair, and can also bring strength and new resolve. Safety is important.

We need emotional safety. We need to feel that our friends are "safe places" for our hearts. We need our families and homes to safeguard us and make sure we are protected from a world that would destroy us. We need to feel safe in our relationships and when we don't, that can lead to fear and mistrust and pain. When we do not feel emotionally safe, we can become insecure, unstable, and our confidence can wane. Safety is important.

We need spiritual safety. We need to be able to trust our souls to our Creator. We need to give our hurts, our confusion, our bitterness, our anger and hate...all of it...to the Lover of our souls. Spiritual safety only comes through complete surrender and confidence in the One who made us. When our confidence is in Jesus, we can trust Him for all of our physical and emotional needs...safety in Christ is the full package!

I am so glad that I can trust everything in my life to Christ. I know that in my humanity, I need to feel physically and emotionally safe. I am learning that if I trust Him with ALL of that, He provides security, safety and protection beyond what I could have found anywhere else. Nothing surprises Him and He is not worried. I can trust that He will do all things for my good, and my trust is in Him.

valentina.

Thirty years ago today, a beautiful baby girl entered the world. I was nine years old, and I had been eagerly awaiting her arrival for months. I'll never forget my mom telling me that Eugene had taken Jean to the hospital  the night before (Halloween night) and that the baby would likely be born today.

I'll never forget hearing that she had a heart defect, and the long days waiting for her to come home. I'll never forget seeing her for the first time, and hearing my dad pray for her. God healed the hole in her heart, and I always knew that she was a very special girl with a very special purpose.

She immediately became MY baby. Everyone knew she was my baby...I took care of her every chance I got. I loved her deeply from the very start, and that love only grew with every passing day, month, year.

She grew into a lovely young lady, and she is beautiful and strong with a family of her own. She has been through a lot in her young life, but I still believe that God is going to fulfill His purpose in her. I love her more than she will ever know. She is, and always will be, my girl.

I love you, Valentina Eugenia Cody. <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

storms.

Life doesn't always make sense. Storms happen and sometimes the lights go out. We can shout at the sky and shake our fist in anger at the clouds that are covering the sun. We can allow the darkness to overwhelm our soul until nothing is left but an empty shell. Or we can lift our soul to the pouring rain and surrender to the growth it brings. We can allow our faith to be pounded to bits because we know that the storm will not last forever. When the storm has ended, the clouds have parted, and the rain has stopped, we will know. When the sun is shining once again, we will know. As the warm rays of the sun reach our inner being, we will know that there has always been a purpose in the storm. We will see the growth, we will feel the strength, we will hear His still, small whisper. And we will know that He was with us all the time.

Summertime.

So what big things have been going on in your life recently?

Something huge that is happening for me right now is that I have started a Master's program at MNU. In April, I got accepted into their Master of Arts in Counseling (MAC) program. I am in the school counseling track, and I am loving it so much! I am meeting some very cool people and learning some amazing things and having a great time! This past Monday I had a big presentation due which I think went very well. My group of five people worked very well together, and hopefully we got a good grade! And then THIS Monday I will have my first test! I'm a little nervous, but it doesn't sound like it will be too hard...I do need to study though!

Another big thing is...I got a puppy! He is the cutest thing ever. His name is Reese because he looks like a peanut butter cup and he is very sweet. Just look at how cute this little guy is! He is growing fast and I know he won't be this little for long. Actually, this picture was taken about two weeks ago and he's already grown a lot! He is 8 weeks old. He's a doll and I absolutely love him already!

So I have some huge things going on right now...also some pretty big things "on my plate" so to speak that I am working on. Here's the general rundown:

- Working on putting together a skit/drama for the KCCBS service at HHYC. I think it is finally coming together...and we're only two weeks out! Not bad...lol.

- Working on getting the Crew stuff together for HHYC. And trying to figure out if I'm actually going to be able to miss my class(es) that week, or if I'm gonna try to drive back and forth. At this point, I'm thinking about trying to skip my Monday night class and come back for my Thursday night class. Anyway, the next couple of weeks are going to be very busy with trying to get all that together.

- Believe it or not, I've been trying to pick a drama for next spring! So that's very time-consuming, trying to read scripts, order scripts, and submit them for review. I am determined to not have a time crunch situation again next spring that keeps us from beginning rehearsals in a timely manner. We'll see.

- Obviously school work is keeping me very busy. Today I interviewed two school counselors for one of my classes. That was very enlightening and made me very excited about what I have chosen to do! One of the counselors is from an urban high school, and the other from a suburban grade school. Very different viewpoints, but both of them were very inspiring! Anyway, things like that, studying for tests, writing papers, and of course...reading! It never ends. But I am truly enjoying all of it. Last night I ordered my books for my next module, which begins the same week that we start school! Unbelievable.

- For the first part of the summer, I had a great time being a "nanny" to the Colburn kids. I'm not doing that anymore, and I really miss it, but it was an awesome time. I hope they had as great a time as I did! I love those kids, as everybody knows, and don't get to see them often enough! I completely understand the fact that their mom (my dear friend Gina) missed them too much to be able to continue working outside the home, so she worked it out to be able to work from home for the rest of the summer. Kudos to you, Gina. You rock!

- Of course, I do spend a lot of time socializing. What would life be without friends and family to spend time with? I do consider it an honor and privilege anytime any one of you lets me be a part of your life for an hour or two - an evening, a weekend, or whatever. The older I get (haha) the more I realize that relationships are TRULY the most important part of life. If I am too busy for my friends and family, then I am TOO BUSY!

Well, I am going to quit for now. I hope each of you has a wonderful weekend and that you don't forget to stop and relax for awhile. Take some time to let someone know how important they are to you. And take some time for yourself. Be kind....to yourself and others. And be blessed!

Congratulations tomorrow to:

Darren and Jamie, an amazing couple, who are joining their lives before God and others. May your lives be blessed as you continue to serve Him.

One of my former students, Bryan Smith, who is getting married as well. May God bless your marriage and your lives together and all that you do! You've always been special to me!

Much love to all!

thoughts.

Lately, my heart and mind have been so full that it's been hard to find the words. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you, but it does to me, and it's my blog, so deal. :) hah. Seriously though...

One thing I've been thinking alot about is passion. No, not THAT kinda passion. But the kind of passion that makes you love what you love. Ya know? For one thing, people are always asking me why I'm still single (I know, stupid question...and I'm sorry if you've ever asked me that...it's still a stupid question...;) and I think I finally have an answer I can express! I've always known, but haven't had the words for it. But I think it's because if I were to ever sacrifice my independence for a relationship, it would have to be for someone who had similar passions to mine. And I have yet to meet someone like that. Which, by the way, is totally fine with me, because contrary to popular opinion, single people are not "faulty" or "broken"...we are just fine! And lest this begin to sound like some bitter diatribe against marriage or commitment, those who know me can testify that nothing could be further from the truth. I support marriage and I am incredibly happy and supportive of all my friends who have chosen that path. I do not, however, believe that is God's plan for everyone...and while I would not go so far as to say it's not God's plan for me EVER, I would say it's obviously not His plan YET! SO...all that to say that I've been thinking a lot about my passions lately. Those things in my life that are close to my heart. I guess you could say these last few months have included some major self-discovery. And it's been very interesting, to say the least. Take my word for it.

Another thing that I've been thinking about is change. How our lives are filled with such irony and transitions. I was reminded of this again tonight by a dear friend who is graduating this week. But the passages of life...they are so necessary and can be so heartbreaking! Over the past year and a half, I have realized more and more that life hurts. And the more I think about it, the more I really think that's how it's supposed to be. I don't think we were put on this earth to be comfortable. I don't think we were put here to be necessarily happy. I think it's great if we happen to be those things...but I certainly don't think that is God's main intention for our lives. And I think the changes and seasons of life come along to remind us of that. These are thoughts that I'm still processing, obviously, but God has been reminding me lately that I'm here for HIS purposes, not mine. If this life happens to bring me a measure of happiness and comfort, great. But if my life pleases Him and brings Him glory through the pain and discomfort, then I believe I will have lived my life to the fullest. At the judgment, I don't believe God is going to ask me, "Were you happy on earth? Did you have a comfortable, enjoyable life?" Don't get me wrong, I believe God wants to bring us joy because He loves us. But when He judges my life, I hope He sees that I served Him with abandon, holding nothing back, and allowing Him to mold and shape me through every circumstance of life.

My intention is to live my life in complete surrender to God. I know I will mess up at times, and I won't be the perfect example of His grace. Thankfully, God looks at the heart. He's sees my motives and my intentions. He knows I love Him with my entire being, and that's all that matters.

For all my friends and family, both near and far, I pray that God makes you a useful vessel for His use! May we all live lives that are dedicated to complete service to Him. I love you all.

Happy New Year! Even though the month of January is almost halfway over (hard to believe!) this is the first time I've had a chance to blog, so happy new year, everybody! I hope your 2008 is going great so far, and that it continues to be a wonderful year for you.

So life continues to be an interesting blend of activity, frustration, enjoyment, laughter, sadness, tears, and blessing! Whew. What a ride!

The Christmas and New Year holidays seemed to go by in a quick hurry!! My last day of school was the 19th, so I had a few days "off" before actual Christmas arrived. That was nice because I could finish up last-minute shopping and get rested and prepared for the festivities! Hah. I actually was able to go down to the Springfield/Ava area and spend some time with my dear friend, Alissa, that weekend before Christmas. We had a lot of fun. The weather was not great, so we stayed inside and watched movies and hung out quite a bit. And took pictures...

On Christmas Eve, my parents and I drove down to Tulsa to celebrate Christmas with my dad's side of the family. We had a great time there with our family and came back the day after Christmas. It was great to see people that we hadn't seen in quite awhile.

My nephew, Alex, and I had planned to leave the next day for Colorado to visit my brother, Scott. Because of the weather, both here and in Colorado, our trip was postponed till Saturday. In the meantime, I got to spend a few hours with my friend Anthony on his birthday. For the third year in a row, we went to Applebees on his actual birthday...quickly becoming a tradition!

Early on Saturday morning, we got up and made our way down I-70 to Denver. We had a nice trip, and got there early in the evening on Saturday. We were blessed to be able to attend the Sunday morning service with the dear people at the Loveland church, and to eat dinner with their pastor. Alex and I stayed there at Scott's until the following Wednesday and had a lot of fun just hanging out and getting to spend time together. I also got to see my wonderful friend Cara, and her sweet baby Luke, while I was there! That was a treat and we had a great time together!

Alex and I came back to KC on Wednesday, arriving mid-afternoon, and school started for me on Thursday! So it was a quick vacation, but packed with lots of fun times, and sweet memories!
Since school has started, life has continued to be incredibly busy and full. I have gotten to spend time with good friends, as well as with my family. God is so good to me!

If there is anything I could say about the year 2007, it's that God is faithful! He has never been anything but faithful to me. I could not ask for anything more. As 2008 begins, I trust that it will be a year in which I will be increasingly faithful to HIM! I'm sure I join many of you in saying that I want my life to count for something eternal. I want to make a difference and I want to encourage others to join me on the journey!

For those of you who made my 2007 holidays extra-special, I thank you. For those of you who have been my friend through good and bad, I thank you. I wish all of you a happy and blessed 2008! May the warmth and peace of Christ's presence follow you throughout this year and always!

*For pictures, you can visit my Ringo, MySpace, or Facebook sites.* :)

letting go...

It's a hard concept for me. I'll admit that when I have an idea that gets passed over or an opinion that's not widely accepted, I'm pretty okay with that. I can usually let those types of things go.

What I have a hard time with is letting go of people. When people exit my life (or I exit theirs) it's very difficult for me. I tend to hold the people in my life very closely, and losing anyone is heartbreaking. I'm not just talking about losing people to death, although the finality of that kind of loss is obviously painful.

For most of my life, it was not hard for me to get close to people. In fact, some might say that it was too easy. I trusted easily and opened myself to friendship and love easily. Through circumstances of the last few years, that has changed somewhat. I do consider myself fortunate in the closeness of my friendships; however, I do not find myself easily opening up or as trusting as before. I am much more cautious and reserved when it comes to giving or receiving the gift of friendship.

It is perhaps that much harder, then, to lose those people who remain close to my heart. When I find them walking out of my life, perhaps through no fault of their own, but just because of circumstances, it's not easy to let go!

I have been praying for several weeks, maybe months, that God would work in a certain situation. I have found myself pleading with Him and trying to work things out on my own, by turns. Last week I felt very definitely that God told me to let it go - to trust Him. I don't know what that means. I don't know if He's going to work a miracle and allow things to remain as they are, or if He's going to allow the change, knowing that somehow it is best. It's still so hard for me to let it go and trust Him! I can't seem to leave it in His hands, even though I know that's what He wants, and it's what I should do. It's ripping my heart out a little more each day, knowing that most likely after Christmas, everything will be different. I can't shake the sadness and the feeling that it's not right, but it's out of my hands. There's absolutely nothing I can do. I know God is able and all-powerful, and that He knows and cares even more than I do. What's more, I know that even when people leave my realm of influence, they are still never out of God's care! He will follow and He will be faithful! So why can't I just leave it with Him - why do I keep worrying about it and wondering if everything will be okay?

Here are some questions I have. Maybe you, my faithful readers, can shed some light...

Why does "letting go" feel so much like "giving up"?
Is it sometimes okay to "give up"?
When does it become unhealthy (disobedient?) to keep holding on?
How do I know it's really God telling me to "let go" and not the devil telling me to "give up"?
Why does God allow people into our lives, and then remove them before it seems right?

I am really having a hard time with all this. I would appreciate your prayers as I struggle to sort it all out.

Thanks for reading!

more grace.

I'm not sure that I'll be able to express this exactly the way I mean it, but here goes...

Lately I have been feeling the need for more grace. In my own life, certainly, I am a grateful recipient of the grace of God. When I deserve condemnation and judgment, He gives grace. When I am lost and confused, His grace lights the way and brings me back. When I am desperate and miserable, His grace comforts and heals. Where would I be, if not for the grace of God?

Have we forgotten? Do we so easily lose sight of what it is like to be so desperately in need of God's grace? When we have the chance to spread a little grace to one of God's children, do we take it? When hear a teenager's unkind, cutting words, do we listen to the pain behind them? When we see a homeless person, do we just assume he must have "done something" to deserve it? Can any of God's precious children depend on us, trust us, to take care of them? Have we forgotten?

I have never claimed to be a perfect example of God's grace. I know there are many times when I fail to accept or distribute grace when I should. But my intention is to let grace rule my life. When grace and compassion are the rule, it is my belief and my experience that people see Jesus. And if we claim the name of Christ, isn't that Who we want people to see? I have yet to see rules and guidelines and unbending policies save anybody! Jesus' ministry was one of care and concern for people. Not once did He condemn a person Who was truly seeking Him. I want to be like Jesus.

This quote is very strongly worded and I love it. I wish my life more faithfully exhibited the truth behind it.

"If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay. If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned or unprayed for." -Charles Spurgeon

I intend to never give up on the people Christ has called me to serve. Are there challenges? Yes. Are there problems? Absolutely. Should that stop me? No way. I will not give up. God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7) Thank you, Jesus, for never giving up on me!

You Never Let Go

by Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle

of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back

I know You are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming

for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming

for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Yes, I can see a light that is coming

for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

life

Okay. Let me just say it. Life is great.


Yep. You heard me right.


Life is great.


Sometimes I think it's good to just sit back and look at life and realize what a blessing it truly is. So that's what I'm doing. I don't think I always appreciate my life enough. I'm always busy, usually to an overwhelming degree, so sometimes I am too snowed-under to acknowledge how blessed I am.




I want to say, first of all, that I have an adorable new nephew. He is my friend Cara's little boy, so he is my chosen nephew. And he is precious. I absolutely cannot wait to see him. He lives with his parents in Colorado, and I hope to be able to go visit him SOON!! Look at how cute he is

Precious, huh? Altogether now: ahhhhh!

Anyway, that's one of my latest blessings and I wanted to share it with all of you who didn't already know. His name is Luke Francis Barnett.

So life is good. This past weekend I got to spend time with four of my favorite kids on the planet - my Colburn nieces and nephews. They are growing up so much and I am blessed anytime I get to spend time with them. Brooklyn will be 12 in December, which is just unbelievable, and she is growing into a fine young lady. Very smart and carries on extremely intelligent conversations. Jordan is all boy and there is never a dull moment when he is around. He's very active and very sweet and very ornery. And very TALL! I swear he's grown 5 inches since the last time I saw him! He's 10. Colton...he cracks me up. He's 9 and his sense of humor is very dry and witty. I love listening to him talk, and watching him interact. Kailyn is my birthday buddy. She was born on my 27th birthday which means she turned 7 this year. I can't believe how grown up she is! She's my lil buddy and I love her constant hugs and "I love you's." Something tells me to cherish those because they won't last forever, at least not to that extent. On Sunday morning, I took Kailyn and Colton to church (Brooklyn and Jordan had spent the night with friends) and as I stood between them during the congregational singing, I noticed that both of them were just singing their little hearts out. It was extremely blessed by that. This is a shout-out to Jason and Gina (their parents) and all you wonderful people out there who are raising your children to worship Jesus. That impact on their lives is going to influence them for eternity.

Life is very good. I could go on and on. I am blessed with family and friends. My grandfather, who spent the weekend in the hospital after having been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation (congestive heart failure) is home now and doing much better. My Smith grandparents celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary last weekend and are relatively healthy. My brother in Colorado is doing well - he's healthy and has a good job and is doing well spiritually. My parents are always busy and always on the go and always a blessing. What can I say. I have a great family. I can't forget to mention my aunt and uncle who are also my pastors - I can't even tell you how much I admire, respect and love them. They are amazing people.

My friends are incredible. I know I've said that before. God is good. He's given me a wonderful support system, a wonderful job with people I love, wonderful students who light up my life. I seriously could not ask for more.

Life is good.

"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~Jesus (John 10:10)

thirsty.

Psalm 63:1
"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”

tangible.

"Friendship is acting out God's love for people in tangible ways. We were made to represent the love of God in each other's lives, so that each person we walk through life with has a more profound sense of God's love for them. Friendship is an opportunity to act on God's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is. When we do the hard, intimate work of friendship, we bring a little more of the divine into daily life. We get to remind one another about the bigger, more beautiful picture that we can't always see from where we are."

From Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life by Shauna Niequist

Some of God's blessings are tangible.

Have you ever thought about that?

I was thinking today about some of the people that God has put into my life who are living, breathing, moving...visible evidence of His work in my life. There is no way that all of these great people just "happened" to find their way into my life. No way. God did it. He's pretty awesome.

If you're reading this, there's a good chance you are one of those amazing people whose path God allowed to cross with mine. I'm grateful for you. Your prayers, your support, your love...however you have touched my life, it has been God-ordained and I'm grateful. Please do not ever feel unappreciated or taken for granted. I'm sorry if I don't thank you or recognize you enough. You are incredibly special and I love you!

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy..." (Phil. 1:2-4)

positive.

“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture... Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.”
Norman Vincent Peale (1898-1993), clergyman and author

The past couple of weeks have been extremely busy. Full of fun and worthwhile events and activities, yes, but tiring nonetheless. As a result of this and other factors, I'm sorry to say, my normally positive outlook has slipped a little. In recent days, however, God has been bringing my attention back to the fact that a positive attitude is not only a nice thing to have, it is also Biblical. The devil has been fighting me, bringing back battles I thought I had won long ago. And while it's easy for me to wonder why these struggles are necessary, I am brought back to the fact again and again that God is faithful. He is faithful to teach me and to help me grow. He is faithful to bring beauty from the ashes, and to breathe life into what was once lifeless. And one of my responsibilities as a child of God is to have a positive mindset. I've been reading a devotional book that's based on Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind and here is what she has to say about Matthew 8:13 ("Jesus said, Go; it shall be done for you as you have believed.")

"Here's a simple fact I've learned: Positive minds produce positive lives, but negative minds produce negative lives. The New Testament tells the story of a Roman soldier whose servant was sick, and the soldier wanted Jesus to heal him. That wasn't uncommon -- many wanted Jesus to heal them or their loved ones in those days. But this soldier, instead of asking Jesus to come to his servant, expressed his belief that if Jesus would just speak the word, his servant would be healed. Jesus marveled at his faith and sent out His word to heal the servant. The soldier's positive mindset -- his faith -- brought positive results. He expected healing, and that's exactly what happened."

While I don't believe that "positive thoughts" heal people or make life better, I do believe that if we expected God to do what we ask Him to do, we might be surprised at the results! How often do we pray for something, and then God "surprises" us by answering? I think if I expected more -- had more faith -- I might receive more!

I am going to be challenging myself in the coming days and weeks to think more positively as a believer. To be more expectant of the grace and mercies of God. To be more filled with confidence in His abilities and power to work in my life. Those are things I believe He expects of me.

The glass is definitely half-full!

promise.

Promise of a Lifetime
Kutless

I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I’m feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me

Chorus
I know you’re always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I’m clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Looking back at me
I know that you can see my heart is open to
The Promise of a lifetime

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change
I still remember the pledge you made to me
I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
And I am comforted

Chorus
I know you’re always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I’m clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Looking back at me
I know that you can see my heart is open to
The Promise of a lifetime

through HIS eyes.

Tonight my pastor preached a sermon that was completely convicting and powerful. I will not attempt to re-preach his sermon, and I am probably much too tired to do the topic justice, but I had to at least try.

In the aftermath of 9/11, we heard a lot of songs and poems and stories which were written by people needing an outlet for the grief and pain and outrage we were feeling at the time. Most of the time we were asked to focus our attention on the feelings and desperation of the victims, and certainly nobody would fault a hurting nation for drawing inward and "licking our wounds," so to speak.

However, what if we were to ask ourselves this question and answer it honestly:

"What Did God See On September 11, 2001?"

Obviously we know that He saw planes hurtling into skyscrapers and slamming into the ground and devastating the symbols of our military strength. He felt the fear and the tears and the destruction. He saw the families and the heroes. He felt and He knew the pain of our loss and helplessness.

But, knowing our loving Heavenly Father the way that we do, what do you really think He saw?
He saw the souls. The never-dying souls of men and women and children. He saw them entering eternity without Him. He saw the souls of the hijackers, the souls of those who threw themselves from windows many stories above the ground, the souls of those who died in the fires and in the crashes. How many of them went into eternity without God? God knows. He saw them that day. And Jesus, who sits at the Father's right hand, and whose very life was given to redeem the souls of those who died, saw them too. Perhaps He stood and reached out His hand to those who were dying, only to realize it was too late for them. If there is crying in Heaven, perhaps He viewed the awful sight through tears of compassion and mercy.

Many times it seems that we are able to accept and acknowledge what we know to be true about the power and greatness of God. We comprehend, at least to what extent we can, the ultimate control He exerts upon the world. Why is it then, that we fail to even attempt to understand His love. The unconditional love that loves so perfectly. The mercy that reaches out with such compassion. Do we fail to realize that Christ's love extends to everyone...the disillusioned, the confused, the rebellious, the ignorant...everyone?

While none of us may be able to make much of an individual difference in the world-wide "war on terror," I do believe we can each make a difference in the role the chief terrorist of the world is currently playing in the lives of our friends and family members. We may not be able to go halfway around the world and hunt down those terrorists (remembering, of course, that Jesus died for them too) but can we walk across the street? Can we pick up the phone and call? What can we do in the lives of those whom we love to bring them closer to Christ? How can we influence our friends and our neighbors and our family members to walk away from their sinfulness and selfishness?

According to statistics, every 5 seconds, over 10 people in the world die. Of those 10 people, 7 are dying without Christ.

I have been challenged to take a look at my own life and see what I am doing to make a difference in the lives of the people in my circle of influence. God, help me to be faithful! Help me to see the world as you see it. Help me to see the souls of my loved ones through your eyes.
I would challenge us, as the 6th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on our country approaches, to not only remind ourselves of that day and of the changes it has brought into our lives and nations. But I would also ask us to be reminded of the tragedy, each and every day, of souls going into eternity without God. Shouldn't our primary goal as Christians be reaching people and leading them into a relationship with Christ?

I know I haven't shared this as eloquently or smoothly as I would have liked, but I know that I have been shaken as I have contemplated these truths. And my prayer is that I would always be faithful to the souls of those around me...my friends, my students, my co-workers, my family. Let's hold each other up in prayer and let's determine to make a difference in the battle against the terrible enemy of our souls!

May God bless you this week and make you a blessing to all whose lives you touch!

hey

Hey everybody!

We just finished our third week of school, which is just unbelievable. Things are going well in that regard. I'm enjoying my classes, even though it took me a couple of weeks to get back in the swing of things! The routine was really hard for me to get back into for some reason this year!

Anyway, not much else has been going on. My computer crashed and I lost everything. EVERYthing. Yeah. That was not cool. Fortunately, I had posted most of my pictures on sites like Ringo so I didn't lose too many of them permanently. I think the only ones that are unaccounted for are the ones of drama and junior-senior banquet in May. So those are probably gone forever. Then of course I also lost tons of documents...things that I probably won't even remember until I need them! Lots of stuff for Youth Camp which will be really fun to recreate next summer. Guess I better plan on carving out a couple of weeks for that huh! ARGH. Oh well...life goes on...

Have a great weekend and hope to hear from you soon!

And as always, much love to all!

wow.

Okay so I know it's been forever since I posted here. I really didn't think anyone ever came here at all...in fact, I forgot I had it and completely forgot my password and everything...which was kinda scary for a minute! THEN all the google stuff really confused me...but I think I have it figured out now. LOL. Anyway.

I am tremendously glad that this week is over. It's been rough getting acclimated to the school schedule again. It's been a great week in many ways, because of getting to see my students again (and meet the new ones) but getting back into the routine is always rough.

Anyway, I need to go get ready for the evening...I just wanted to post something so that my blog wouldn't be so outdated. LOL. I'll try to post more later, but no guarantees. ;)

Love to all!
:)

well.

Hopefully everybody had a great Thanksgiving! I sure did! Saw about 25-30 of my family members on Thanksgiving day, and that's only a fraction of them. Most of them didn't come to do illness or other plans or...other things. LOL. You just gotta know my family. Anyway, it was good to see everyone, and of course, the food was very good. And there were lots of leftovers. And let's just say I'm over turkey until at least...Christmas. One of the most exciting things that happened while at my grandparents house was that my grandma's microwave blew up. Apparently it couldn't handle all of the leftover reheating, so it started popping with this weird noise anytime anyone turned it on. Eventually it was shooting flames out the back and so we decided to stop using it. (We Smiths are a stubborn bunch, if you haven't noticed.)

And how about those CHIEFS on Thursday....takin it to the BRONCOS! Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin about. AND SUNDAY...with the Raiders. Yup...it's gotta be a good week when the Chiefs beat both the Broncos and the Raiders.

So then on Saturday I got to sleep in (yay, sleep!) and then that night, spend some quality time with some good friends. That was great fun. Thanks for having us over, Jeff!

Then Sunday was good with really great services at church. The sermons were really needed and relevant and it was good to be able to worship with God's people.

Sunday night after church, Tami, Triston, Klaire and I went down to see the Christmas lights on the Plaza and at Crown Center and Union Station. These are some of my favorite places in the world, especially when they are all lit up for Christmas. Yay, Christmas lights! And yay, Christmas music! (I know that was random.)

So back to work today! Lots of people were out sick, or for other reasons, and it was pretty much a typical Monday. Except that I took a full dose of NyQuil before I went to bed at 12:30 AM, and I don't really think that was a good idea. I was pretty fuzzy-brained all day. But then again...nope, I won't say it. I know some of you are thinking it. But you just better watch what you say. Christmas is comin.... and so are bonuses.... (right Jeff?).... so that's all I'm gonna say.

Gotta go for now. Hope everybody has a fantabulous week! Be blessed!

Much love to all!

untitled.

Wow. Where did this week go? Actually, where did this year go?? Seriously! I can't believe we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving...Christmas is right around the corner!

The last couple of weeks, like I mentioned before, were pretty stressful, but they're over! Whew! Last Friday night was Homecoming, and all the work and preparation was well worth it. It was a beautiful night and lots of great memories were made. I'll try to post some pictures soon.

The past two days of school were, frankly, kind of unproductive. I'm not sure why we have two days of school before a holiday. Why don't we just take the whole week off?? We will have to hit the ground running after Thanksgiving and work hard till Christmas. (To all of my lovely students who read this blog -- consider this fair warning!)

I saw Happy Feet in IMAX last night. That is one funny movie. I really liked it. Great music too!

Today I got to sleep in (yay, sleep!) and now I'm doing laundry and trying to get ready to leave for Tulsa in a couple of hours. My parents and I are going down to spend the holiday with the Smith side of the family. It's always an interesting time -- with that many Smiths in one building, you never know what might happen! I'll be back sometime Saturday most likely, so don't miss me too bad.

I hope all of you have a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving! Whether you're spending it with family, friends, strangers, or a combination of all three (I, for one, have a family that is pretty "strange"...haha) I hope you have a safe and happy holiday.

Much love to all.

i love my life.

Well, for anyone who's been wondering, I've been really stressed lately. The last couple of weeks have been very stressful. Then, to top things off, I got sick last weekend (note previous post.) I have said and done some pretty crazy things due to my stressed out tiredness, and there have been misunderstandings and dramatic interludes aplenty!

HOWEVER...all that being said, I love my life. I was thinking today about how blessed I am. I am so blessed to be working at a place that I love, doing the things that I love, with the people that I love! How much better could life get! Not to mention the fact that I feel I am exactly where God wants me at this moment! AND I've got amazing friends whom I love dearly, and who love me (I hope!) and an amazing church and church family who are supportive and understanding. I ALSO have an incredibly awesome family who love me and support me and understand me. I truly could not ask for more. God is good.

So as stressful as things are at the moment, I just want to go on record as being thankful. I'm grateful for the good things God has placed in my life and I'm determined not to take them for granted. I thank God for each of my friends and for the influence they have on my life. I'm grateful for my students who bring life to my days and a smile to my face. I am deeply thankful and indebted to each person who touches my life. You are one of them! Thank God for you -- thank you for being my friend and for the impact you have on my life! Without you, my life would lose some of its value and color. You are important and you are needed and I depend on you. Thank you for the person you are.

Thank you for praying for me, and please know as you read this that I have said a prayer for you.

Tomorrow is Homecoming at OCH. I will be spending the day in the gym decorating and practicing and getting ready for the big event. The senior class, which I sponsor, is in charge of concessions; and the Student Senate, which I also sponsor, is in charge of everything else! Thankfully, I have lots of good help this year, or I would be going crazy right now. I actually have a lot of things that need to be done tonite, so I am going to wrap this up and get busy.

I hope all of you have a wonderfully blessed weekend! Much love to all of you!

sick.

Blah. I hate bein sick! I stayed home from church this morning to try to get some rest and get rid of this...whatever it is I have! Anyway. I don't have time to be sick is the thing. I will just have to power thru. I miss goin to church tho. When I don't go, I have serious withdrawals. I miss all you people and I just miss bein there. I will be there tonite, no matter what!

This past week went really fast for me! I just can't believe how fast the year is going! Friday night I actually did some Christmas shopping - can you believe it?? I can't! I don't think I've ever done Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving! LOL. But it was cold and felt like winter outside so...it kinda put me in the mood. I have not started listening to Christmas music yet, but I'm about to. Anyway.

Yesterday was a fun day. In the morning, I went to my little nephew Jaydon's 7th birthday party. It was at Chuck E. Cheese. That is a fun place for kids! Then I met Lisa and Sophia and Bethany to go shopping for Homecoming decorations. We actually got everything at one store, which was great! (I'm not a great shopper!) Then last night was the Alumni Gospel Sing. It was great fun and lots of people showed up. The music was really good and several of the songs were a real blessing to me. If you couldn't be there, you ought to order the DVD! Of course, after the concert, Jeff and Tami and Triston and Klaire and I heard Applebees calling our name...and of course there was bunch of other people from the concert there too...and it was Klaire's birthday so the waiters came out and sang to her and gave her an Oreo shake, so she was happy.

Woke up this morning feeling terrible, as I've already said, so I think I'm gonna go try to sleep some more. It's actually kinda hard to breathe while lying down...you know how it is. Ugh. Have I mentioned that I hate being sick!?!

This week I got my new Michael W. Smith CD, Stand, and I'm still listening to it. It's amazing. I love the song Open Arms and it, along with what Aaron preached about in chapel Wednesday (I wasn't there, but I heard all about it...and it sounded like it was awesome!)...well, it's got me thinking alot about love. I think we all need to be a lot more loving. After all, didn't Jesus say the greatest commandment was all about love? Hmmm... Well, anyway, I will post those lyrics if I can ever find them online. It's a really good song and you should listen to it if you can.
Well, I'm out for now. Hope everyone has a marvelous, worshipful Sunday! Pray for me and I'll pray for you!

Much love, as always, to all!