Randomness

Summertime.

2008-07-11T23:16:00.002-05:00

So what big things have been going on in your life recently?

Something huge that is happening for me right now is that I have started a Master's program at MNU. In April, I got accepted into their Master of Arts in Counseling (MAC) program. I am in the school counseling track, and I am loving it so much! I am meeting some very cool people and learning some amazing things and having a great time! This past Monday I had a big presentation due which I think went very well. My group of five people worked very well together, and hopefully we got a good grade! And then THIS Monday I will have my first test! I'm a little nervous, but it doesn't sound like it will be too hard...I do need to study though!

Another big thing is...I got a puppy! He is the cutest thing ever. His name is Reese because he looks like a peanut butter cup and he is very sweet. Just look at how cute this little guy is! He is growing fast and I know he won't be this little for long. Actually, this picture was taken about two weeks ago and he's already grown a lot! He is 8 weeks old. He's a doll and I absolutely love him already!

So I have some huge things going on right now...also some pretty big things "on my plate" so to speak that I am working on. Here's the general rundown:

- Working on putting together a skit/drama for the KCCBS service at HHYC. I think it is finally coming together...and we're only two weeks out! Not bad...lol.

- Working on getting the Crew stuff together for HHYC. And trying to figure out if I'm actually going to be able to miss my class(es) that week, or if I'm gonna try to drive back and forth. At this point, I'm thinking about trying to skip my Monday night class and come back for my Thursday night class. Anyway, the next couple of weeks are going to be very busy with trying to get all that together.

- Believe it or not, I've been trying to pick a drama for next spring! So that's very time-consuming, trying to read scripts, order scripts, and submit them for review. I am determined to not have a time crunch situation again next spring that keeps us from beginning rehearsals in a timely manner. We'll see.

- Obviously school work is keeping me very busy. Today I interviewed two school counselors for one of my classes. That was very enlightening and made me very excited about what I have chosen to do! One of the counselors is from an urban high school, and the other from a suburban grade school. Very different viewpoints, but both of them were very inspiring! Anyway, things like that, studying for tests, writing papers, and of course...reading! It never ends. But I am truly enjoying all of it. Last night I ordered my books for my next module, which begins the same week that we start school! Unbelievable.

- For the first part of the summer, I had a great time being a "nanny" to the Colburn kids. I'm not doing that anymore, and I really miss it, but it was an awesome time. I hope they had as great a time as I did! I love those kids, as everybody knows, and don't get to see them often enough! I completely understand the fact that their mom (my dear friend Gina) missed them too much to be able to continue working outside the home, so she worked it out to be able to work from home for the rest of the summer. Kudos to you, Gina. You rock!

- Of course, I do spend a lot of time socializing. What would life be without friends and family to spend time with? I do consider it an honor and privilege anytime any one of you lets me be a part of your life for an hour or two - an evening, a weekend, or whatever. The older I get (haha) the more I realize that relationships are TRULY the most important part of life. If I am too busy for my friends and family, then I am TOO BUSY!

Well, I am going to quit for now. I hope each of you has a wonderful weekend and that you don't forget to stop and relax for awhile. Take some time to let someone know how important they are to you. And take some time for yourself. Be kind....to yourself and others. And be blessed!

Congratulations tomorrow to:

Darren and Jamie, an amazing couple, who are joining their lives before God and others. May your lives be blessed as you continue to serve Him.

One of my former students, Bryan Smith, who is getting married as well. May God bless your marriage and your lives together and all that you do! You've always been special to me!

Much love to all!

thoughts.

2008-05-21T06:27:00.000-05:00

Lately, my heart and mind have been so full that it's been hard to find the words. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you, but it does to me, and it's my blog, so deal. :) hah. Seriously though...

One thing I've been thinking alot about is passion. No, not THAT kinda passion. But the kind of passion that makes you love what you love. Ya know? For one thing, people are always asking me why I'm still single (I know, stupid question...and I'm sorry if you've ever asked me that...it's still a stupid question...;) and I think I finally have an answer I can express! I've always known, but haven't had the words for it. But I think it's because if I were to ever sacrifice my independence for a relationship, it would have to be for someone who had similar passions to mine. And I have yet to meet someone like that. Which, by the way, is totally fine with me, because contrary to popular opinion, single people are not "faulty" or "broken"...we are just fine! And lest this begin to sound like some bitter diatribe against marriage or commitment, those who know me can testify that nothing could be further from the truth. I support marriage and I am incredibly happy and supportive of all my friends who have chosen that path. I do not, however, believe that is God's plan for everyone...and while I would not go so far as to say it's not God's plan for me EVER, I would say it's obviously not His plan YET! SO...all that to say that I've been thinking a lot about my passions lately. Those things in my life that are close to my heart. I guess you could say these last few months have included some major self-discovery. And it's been very interesting, to say the least. Take my word for it.

Another thing that I've been thinking about is change. How our lives are filled with such irony and transitions. I was reminded of this again tonight by a dear friend who is graduating this week. But the passages of life...they are so necessary and can be so heartbreaking! Over the past year and a half, I have realized more and more that life hurts. And the more I think about it, the more I really think that's how it's supposed to be. I don't think we were put on this earth to be comfortable. I don't think we were put here to be necessarily happy. I think it's great if we happen to be those things...but I certainly don't think that is God's main intention for our lives. And I think the changes and seasons of life come along to remind us of that. These are thoughts that I'm still processing, obviously, but God has been reminding me lately that I'm here for HIS purposes, not mine. If this life happens to bring me a measure of happiness and comfort, great. But if my life pleases Him and brings Him glory through the pain and discomfort, then I believe I will have lived my life to the fullest. At the judgment, I don't believe God is going to ask me, "Were you happy on earth? Did you have a comfortable, enjoyable life?" Don't get me wrong, I believe God wants to bring us joy because He loves us. But when He judges my life, I hope He sees that I served Him with abandon, holding nothing back, and allowing Him to mold and shape me through every circumstance of life.

My intention is to live my life in complete surrender to God. I know I will mess up at times, and I won't be the perfect example of His grace. Thankfully, God looks at the heart. He's sees my motives and my intentions. He knows I love Him with my entire being, and that's all that matters.

For all my friends and family, both near and far, I pray that God makes you a useful vessel for His use! May we all live lives that are dedicated to complete service to Him. I love you all.

2008-01-12T14:44:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year! Even though the month of January is almost halfway over (hard to believe!) this is the first time I've had a chance to blog, so happy new year, everybody! I hope your 2008 is going great so far, and that it continues to be a wonderful year for you.

So life continues to be an interesting blend of activity, frustration, enjoyment, laughter, sadness, tears, and blessing! Whew. What a ride!

The Christmas and New Year holidays seemed to go by in a quick hurry!! My last day of school was the 19th, so I had a few days "off" before actual Christmas arrived. That was nice because I could finish up last-minute shopping and get rested and prepared for the festivities! Hah. I actually was able to go down to the Springfield/Ava area and spend some time with my dear friend, Alissa, that weekend before Christmas. We had a lot of fun. The weather was not great, so we stayed inside and watched movies and hung out quite a bit. And took pictures...

On Christmas Eve, my parents and I drove down to Tulsa to celebrate Christmas with my dad's side of the family. We had a great time there with our family and came back the day after Christmas. It was great to see people that we hadn't seen in quite awhile.

My nephew, Alex, and I had planned to leave the next day for Colorado to visit my brother, Scott. Because of the weather, both here and in Colorado, our trip was postponed till Saturday. In the meantime, I got to spend a few hours with my friend Anthony on his birthday. For the third year in a row, we went to Applebees on his actual birthday...quickly becoming a tradition!

Early on Saturday morning, we got up and made our way down I-70 to Denver. We had a nice trip, and got there early in the evening on Saturday. We were blessed to be able to attend the Sunday morning service with the dear people at the Loveland church, and to eat dinner with their pastor. Alex and I stayed there at Scott's until the following Wednesday and had a lot of fun just hanging out and getting to spend time together. I also got to see my wonderful friend Cara, and her sweet baby Luke, while I was there! That was a treat and we had a great time together!

Alex and I came back to KC on Wednesday, arriving mid-afternoon, and school started for me on Thursday! So it was a quick vacation, but packed with lots of fun times, and sweet memories!
Since school has started, life has continued to be incredibly busy and full. I have gotten to spend time with good friends, as well as with my family. God is so good to me!

If there is anything I could say about the year 2007, it's that God is faithful! He has never been anything but faithful to me. I could not ask for anything more. As 2008 begins, I trust that it will be a year in which I will be increasingly faithful to HIM! I'm sure I join many of you in saying that I want my life to count for something eternal. I want to make a difference and I want to encourage others to join me on the journey!

For those of you who made my 2007 holidays extra-special, I thank you. For those of you who have been my friend through good and bad, I thank you. I wish all of you a happy and blessed 2008! May the warmth and peace of Christ's presence follow you throughout this year and always!

*For pictures, you can visit my Ringo, MySpace, or Facebook sites.* :)

letting go...

2007-12-17T17:50:00.000-06:00

It's a hard concept for me. I'll admit that when I have an idea that gets passed over or an opinion that's not widely accepted, I'm pretty okay with that. I can usually let those types of things go.

What I have a hard time with is letting go of people. When people exit my life (or I exit theirs) it's very difficult for me. I tend to hold the people in my life very closely, and losing anyone is heartbreaking. I'm not just talking about losing people to death, although the finality of that kind of loss is obviously painful.

For most of my life, it was not hard for me to get close to people. In fact, some might say that it was too easy. I trusted easily and opened myself to friendship and love easily. Through circumstances of the last few years, that has changed somewhat. I do consider myself fortunate in the closeness of my friendships; however, I do not find myself easily opening up or as trusting as before. I am much more cautious and reserved when it comes to giving or receiving the gift of friendship.

It is perhaps that much harder, then, to lose those people who remain close to my heart. When I find them walking out of my life, perhaps through no fault of their own, but just because of circumstances, it's not easy to let go!

I have been praying for several weeks, maybe months, that God would work in a certain situation. I have found myself pleading with Him and trying to work things out on my own, by turns. Last week I felt very definitely that God told me to let it go - to trust Him. I don't know what that means. I don't know if He's going to work a miracle and allow things to remain as they are, or if He's going to allow the change, knowing that somehow it is best. It's still so hard for me to let it go and trust Him! I can't seem to leave it in His hands, even though I know that's what He wants, and it's what I should do. It's ripping my heart out a little more each day, knowing that most likely after Christmas, everything will be different. I can't shake the sadness and the feeling that it's not right, but it's out of my hands. There's absolutely nothing I can do. I know God is able and all-powerful, and that He knows and cares even more than I do. What's more, I know that even when people leave my realm of influence, they are still never out of God's care! He will follow and He will be faithful! So why can't I just leave it with Him - why do I keep worrying about it and wondering if everything will be okay?

Here are some questions I have. Maybe you, my faithful readers, can shed some light...

Why does "letting go" feel so much like "giving up"?
Is it sometimes okay to "give up"?
When does it become unhealthy (disobedient?) to keep holding on?
How do I know it's really God telling me to "let go" and not the devil telling me to "give up"?
Why does God allow people into our lives, and then remove them before it seems right?

I am really having a hard time with all this. I would appreciate your prayers as I struggle to sort it all out.

Thanks for reading!

more grace.

2007-11-13T17:57:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure that I'll be able to express this exactly the way I mean it, but here goes...

Lately I have been feeling the need for more grace. In my own life, certainly, I am a grateful recipient of the grace of God. When I deserve condemnation and judgment, He gives grace. When I am lost and confused, His grace lights the way and brings me back. When I am desperate and miserable, His grace comforts and heals. Where would I be, if not for the grace of God?

Have we forgotten? Do we so easily lose sight of what it is like to be so desperately in need of God's grace? When we have the chance to spread a little grace to one of God's children, do we take it? When hear a teenager's unkind, cutting words, do we listen to the pain behind them? When we see a homeless person, do we just assume he must have "done something" to deserve it? Can any of God's precious children depend on us, trust us, to take care of them? Have we forgotten?

I have never claimed to be a perfect example of God's grace. I know there are many times when I fail to accept or distribute grace when I should. But my intention is to let grace rule my life. When grace and compassion are the rule, it is my belief and my experience that people see Jesus. And if we claim the name of Christ, isn't that Who we want people to see? I have yet to see rules and guidelines and unbending policies save anybody! Jesus' ministry was one of care and concern for people. Not once did He condemn a person Who was truly seeking Him. I want to be like Jesus.

This quote is very strongly worded and I love it. I wish my life more faithfully exhibited the truth behind it.

"If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay. If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned or unprayed for." -Charles Spurgeon

I intend to never give up on the people Christ has called me to serve. Are there challenges? Yes. Are there problems? Absolutely. Should that stop me? No way. I will not give up. God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7) Thank you, Jesus, for never giving up on me!

You Never Let Go

by Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle

of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back

I know You are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming

for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming

for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Yes, I can see a light that is coming

for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

life

2007-10-24T23:53:00.000-05:00

Okay. Let me just say it. Life is great.

Yep. You heard me right.

Life is great.

Sometimes I think it's good to just sit back and look at life and realize what a blessing it truly is. So that's what I'm doing. I don't think I always appreciate my life enough. I'm always busy, usually to an overwhelming degree, so sometimes I am too snowed-under to acknowledge how blessed I am.

I want to say, first of all, that I have an adorable new nephew. He is my friend Cara's little boy, so he is my chosen nephew. And he is precious. I absolutely cannot wait to see him. He lives with his parents in Colorado, and I hope to be able to go visit him SOON!! Look at how cute he is

Precious, huh? Altogether now: ahhhhh!

Anyway, that's one of my latest blessings and I wanted to share it with all of you who didn't already know. His name is Luke Francis Barnett.

So life is good. This past weekend I got to spend time with four of my favorite kids on the planet - my Colburn nieces and nephews. They are growing up so much and I am blessed anytime I get to spend time with them. Brooklyn will be 12 in December, which is just unbelievable, and she is growing into a fine young lady. Very smart and carries on extremely intelligent conversations. Jordan is all boy and there is never a dull moment when he is around. He's very active and very sweet and very ornery. And very TALL! I swear he's grown 5 inches since the last time I saw him! He's 10. Colton...he cracks me up. He's 9 and his sense of humor is very dry and witty. I love listening to him talk, and watching him interact. Kailyn is my birthday buddy. She was born on my 27th birthday which means she turned 7 this year. I can't believe how grown up she is! She's my lil buddy and I love her constant hugs and "I love you's." Something tells me to cherish those because they won't last forever, at least not to that extent. On Sunday morning, I took Kailyn and Colton to church (Brooklyn and Jordan had spent the night with friends) and as I stood between them during the congregational singing, I noticed that both of them were just singing their little hearts out. It was extremely blessed by that. This is a shout-out to Jason and Gina (their parents) and all you wonderful people out there who are raising your children to worship Jesus. That impact on their lives is going to influence them for eternity.

Life is very good. I could go on and on. I am blessed with family and friends. My grandfather, who spent the weekend in the hospital after having been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation (congestive heart failure) is home now and doing much better. My Smith grandparents celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary last weekend and are relatively healthy. My brother in Colorado is doing well - he's healthy and has a good job and is doing well spiritually. My parents are always busy and always on the go and always a blessing. What can I say. I have a great family. I can't forget to mention my aunt and uncle who are also my pastors - I can't even tell you how much I admire, respect and love them. They are amazing people.

My friends are incredible. I know I've said that before. God is good. He's given me a wonderful support system, a wonderful job with people I love, wonderful students who light up my life. I seriously could not ask for more.

Life is good.

"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~Jesus (John 10:10)

thirsty.

2007-10-07T08:59:00.000-05:00

Psalm 63:1
"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”

tangible.

2007-10-03T18:25:00.000-05:00

"Friendship is acting out God's love for people in tangible ways. We were made to represent the love of God in each other's lives, so that each person we walk through life with has a more profound sense of God's love for them. Friendship is an opportunity to act on God's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is. When we do the hard, intimate work of friendship, we bring a little more of the divine into daily life. We get to remind one another about the bigger, more beautiful picture that we can't always see from where we are."

From Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life by Shauna Niequist

Some of God's blessings are tangible.

Have you ever thought about that?

I was thinking today about some of the people that God has put into my life who are living, breathing, moving...visible evidence of His work in my life. There is no way that all of these great people just "happened" to find their way into my life. No way. God did it. He's pretty awesome.

If you're reading this, there's a good chance you are one of those amazing people whose path God allowed to cross with mine. I'm grateful for you. Your prayers, your support, your love...however you have touched my life, it has been God-ordained and I'm grateful. Please do not ever feel unappreciated or taken for granted. I'm sorry if I don't thank you or recognize you enough. You are incredibly special and I love you!

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy..." (Phil. 1:2-4)

positive.

2007-09-23T22:53:00.000-05:00

“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture... Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.”
Norman Vincent Peale (1898-1993), clergyman and author

The past couple of weeks have been extremely busy. Full of fun and worthwhile events and activities, yes, but tiring nonetheless. As a result of this and other factors, I'm sorry to say, my normally positive outlook has slipped a little. In recent days, however, God has been bringing my attention back to the fact that a positive attitude is not only a nice thing to have, it is also Biblical. The devil has been fighting me, bringing back battles I thought I had won long ago. And while it's easy for me to wonder why these struggles are necessary, I am brought back to the fact again and again that God is faithful. He is faithful to teach me and to help me grow. He is faithful to bring beauty from the ashes, and to breathe life into what was once lifeless. And one of my responsibilities as a child of God is to have a positive mindset. I've been reading a devotional book that's based on Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind and here is what she has to say about Matthew 8:13 ("Jesus said, Go; it shall be done for you as you have believed.")

"Here's a simple fact I've learned: Positive minds produce positive lives, but negative minds produce negative lives. The New Testament tells the story of a Roman soldier whose servant was sick, and the soldier wanted Jesus to heal him. That wasn't uncommon -- many wanted Jesus to heal them or their loved ones in those days. But this soldier, instead of asking Jesus to come to his servant, expressed his belief that if Jesus would just speak the word, his servant would be healed. Jesus marveled at his faith and sent out His word to heal the servant. The soldier's positive mindset -- his faith -- brought positive results. He expected healing, and that's exactly what happened."

While I don't believe that "positive thoughts" heal people or make life better, I do believe that if we expected God to do what we ask Him to do, we might be surprised at the results! How often do we pray for something, and then God "surprises" us by answering? I think if I expected more -- had more faith -- I might receive more!

I am going to be challenging myself in the coming days and weeks to think more positively as a believer. To be more expectant of the grace and mercies of God. To be more filled with confidence in His abilities and power to work in my life. Those are things I believe He expects of me.

The glass is definitely half-full!

promise.

2007-09-22T06:14:00.000-05:00

Promise of a Lifetime
Kutless

I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I’m feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me

Chorus
I know you’re always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I’m clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Looking back at me
I know that you can see my heart is open to
The Promise of a lifetime

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change
I still remember the pledge you made to me
I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
And I am comforted

Chorus
I know you’re always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I’m clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Looking back at me
I know that you can see my heart is open to
The Promise of a lifetime

through HIS eyes.

2007-09-10T01:13:00.000-05:00

Tonight my pastor preached a sermon that was completely convicting and powerful. I will not attempt to re-preach his sermon, and I am probably much too tired to do the topic justice, but I had to at least try.

In the aftermath of 9/11, we heard a lot of songs and poems and stories which were written by people needing an outlet for the grief and pain and outrage we were feeling at the time. Most of the time we were asked to focus our attention on the feelings and desperation of the victims, and certainly nobody would fault a hurting nation for drawing inward and "licking our wounds," so to speak.

However, what if we were to ask ourselves this question and answer it honestly:

"What Did God See On September 11, 2001?"

Obviously we know that He saw planes hurtling into skyscrapers and slamming into the ground and devastating the symbols of our military strength. He felt the fear and the tears and the destruction. He saw the families and the heroes. He felt and He knew the pain of our loss and helplessness.

But, knowing our loving Heavenly Father the way that we do, what do you really think He saw?
He saw the souls. The never-dying souls of men and women and children. He saw them entering eternity without Him. He saw the souls of the hijackers, the souls of those who threw themselves from windows many stories above the ground, the souls of those who died in the fires and in the crashes. How many of them went into eternity without God? God knows. He saw them that day. And Jesus, who sits at the Father's right hand, and whose very life was given to redeem the souls of those who died, saw them too. Perhaps He stood and reached out His hand to those who were dying, only to realize it was too late for them. If there is crying in Heaven, perhaps He viewed the awful sight through tears of compassion and mercy.

Many times it seems that we are able to accept and acknowledge what we know to be true about the power and greatness of God. We comprehend, at least to what extent we can, the ultimate control He exerts upon the world. Why is it then, that we fail to even attempt to understand His love. The unconditional love that loves so perfectly. The mercy that reaches out with such compassion. Do we fail to realize that Christ's love extends to everyone...the disillusioned, the confused, the rebellious, the ignorant...everyone?

While none of us may be able to make much of an individual difference in the world-wide "war on terror," I do believe we can each make a difference in the role the chief terrorist of the world is currently playing in the lives of our friends and family members. We may not be able to go halfway around the world and hunt down those terrorists (remembering, of course, that Jesus died for them too) but can we walk across the street? Can we pick up the phone and call? What can we do in the lives of those whom we love to bring them closer to Christ? How can we influence our friends and our neighbors and our family members to walk away from their sinfulness and selfishness?

According to statistics, every 5 seconds, over 10 people in the world die. Of those 10 people, 7 are dying without Christ.

I have been challenged to take a look at my own life and see what I am doing to make a difference in the lives of the people in my circle of influence. God, help me to be faithful! Help me to see the world as you see it. Help me to see the souls of my loved ones through your eyes.
I would challenge us, as the 6th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on our country approaches, to not only remind ourselves of that day and of the changes it has brought into our lives and nations. But I would also ask us to be reminded of the tragedy, each and every day, of souls going into eternity without God. Shouldn't our primary goal as Christians be reaching people and leading them into a relationship with Christ?

I know I haven't shared this as eloquently or smoothly as I would have liked, but I know that I have been shaken as I have contemplated these truths. And my prayer is that I would always be faithful to the souls of those around me...my friends, my students, my co-workers, my family. Let's hold each other up in prayer and let's determine to make a difference in the battle against the terrible enemy of our souls!

May God bless you this week and make you a blessing to all whose lives you touch!

hey

2007-09-08T19:46:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody!

We just finished our third week of school, which is just unbelievable. Things are going well in that regard. I'm enjoying my classes, even though it took me a couple of weeks to get back in the swing of things! The routine was really hard for me to get back into for some reason this year!

Anyway, not much else has been going on. My computer crashed and I lost everything. EVERYthing. Yeah. That was not cool. Fortunately, I had posted most of my pictures on sites like Ringo so I didn't lose too many of them permanently. I think the only ones that are unaccounted for are the ones of drama and junior-senior banquet in May. So those are probably gone forever. Then of course I also lost tons of documents...things that I probably won't even remember until I need them! Lots of stuff for Youth Camp which will be really fun to recreate next summer. Guess I better plan on carving out a couple of weeks for that huh! ARGH. Oh well...life goes on...

Have a great weekend and hope to hear from you soon!

And as always, much love to all!

wow.

2007-08-24T17:41:00.000-05:00

Okay so I know it's been forever since I posted here. I really didn't think anyone ever came here at all...in fact, I forgot I had it and completely forgot my password and everything...which was kinda scary for a minute! THEN all the google stuff really confused me...but I think I have it figured out now. LOL. Anyway.

I am tremendously glad that this week is over. It's been rough getting acclimated to the school schedule again. It's been a great week in many ways, because of getting to see my students again (and meet the new ones) but getting back into the routine is always rough.

Anyway, I need to go get ready for the evening...I just wanted to post something so that my blog wouldn't be so outdated. LOL. I'll try to post more later, but no guarantees. ;)

Love to all!
:)

well.

2006-11-27T18:09:00.000-06:00

Hopefully everybody had a great Thanksgiving! I sure did! Saw about 25-30 of my family members on Thanksgiving day, and that's only a fraction of them. Most of them didn't come to do illness or other plans or...other things. LOL. You just gotta know my family. Anyway, it was good to see everyone, and of course, the food was very good. And there were lots of leftovers. And let's just say I'm over turkey until at least...Christmas. One of the most exciting things that happened while at my grandparents house was that my grandma's microwave blew up. Apparently it couldn't handle all of the leftover reheating, so it started popping with this weird noise anytime anyone turned it on. Eventually it was shooting flames out the back and so we decided to stop using it. (We Smiths are a stubborn bunch, if you haven't noticed.)

And how about those CHIEFS on Thursday....takin it to the BRONCOS! Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin about. AND SUNDAY...with the Raiders. Yup...it's gotta be a good week when the Chiefs beat both the Broncos and the Raiders.

So then on Saturday I got to sleep in (yay, sleep!) and then that night, spend some quality time with some good friends. That was great fun. Thanks for having us over, Jeff!

Then Sunday was good with really great services at church. The sermons were really needed and relevant and it was good to be able to worship with God's people.

Sunday night after church, Tami, Triston, Klaire and I went down to see the Christmas lights on the Plaza and at Crown Center and Union Station. These are some of my favorite places in the world, especially when they are all lit up for Christmas. Yay, Christmas lights! And yay, Christmas music! (I know that was random.)

So back to work today! Lots of people were out sick, or for other reasons, and it was pretty much a typical Monday. Except that I took a full dose of NyQuil before I went to bed at 12:30 AM, and I don't really think that was a good idea. I was pretty fuzzy-brained all day. But then again...nope, I won't say it. I know some of you are thinking it. But you just better watch what you say. Christmas is comin.... and so are bonuses.... (right Jeff?).... so that's all I'm gonna say.

Gotta go for now. Hope everybody has a fantabulous week! Be blessed!

Much love to all!

untitled.

2006-11-22T13:08:00.000-06:00

Wow. Where did this week go? Actually, where did this year go?? Seriously! I can't believe we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving...Christmas is right around the corner!

The last couple of weeks, like I mentioned before, were pretty stressful, but they're over! Whew! Last Friday night was Homecoming, and all the work and preparation was well worth it. It was a beautiful night and lots of great memories were made. I'll try to post some pictures soon.

The past two days of school were, frankly, kind of unproductive. I'm not sure why we have two days of school before a holiday. Why don't we just take the whole week off?? We will have to hit the ground running after Thanksgiving and work hard till Christmas. (To all of my lovely students who read this blog -- consider this fair warning!)

I saw Happy Feet in IMAX last night. That is one funny movie. I really liked it. Great music too!

Today I got to sleep in (yay, sleep!) and now I'm doing laundry and trying to get ready to leave for Tulsa in a couple of hours. My parents and I are going down to spend the holiday with the Smith side of the family. It's always an interesting time -- with that many Smiths in one building, you never know what might happen! I'll be back sometime Saturday most likely, so don't miss me too bad.

I hope all of you have a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving! Whether you're spending it with family, friends, strangers, or a combination of all three (I, for one, have a family that is pretty "strange"...haha) I hope you have a safe and happy holiday.

Much love to all.

i love my life.

2006-11-16T17:53:00.000-06:00

Well, for anyone who's been wondering, I've been really stressed lately. The last couple of weeks have been very stressful. Then, to top things off, I got sick last weekend (note previous post.) I have said and done some pretty crazy things due to my stressed out tiredness, and there have been misunderstandings and dramatic interludes aplenty!

HOWEVER...all that being said, I love my life. I was thinking today about how blessed I am. I am so blessed to be working at a place that I love, doing the things that I love, with the people that I love! How much better could life get! Not to mention the fact that I feel I am exactly where God wants me at this moment! AND I've got amazing friends whom I love dearly, and who love me (I hope!) and an amazing church and church family who are supportive and understanding. I ALSO have an incredibly awesome family who love me and support me and understand me. I truly could not ask for more. God is good.

So as stressful as things are at the moment, I just want to go on record as being thankful. I'm grateful for the good things God has placed in my life and I'm determined not to take them for granted. I thank God for each of my friends and for the influence they have on my life. I'm grateful for my students who bring life to my days and a smile to my face. I am deeply thankful and indebted to each person who touches my life. You are one of them! Thank God for you -- thank you for being my friend and for the impact you have on my life! Without you, my life would lose some of its value and color. You are important and you are needed and I depend on you. Thank you for the person you are.

Thank you for praying for me, and please know as you read this that I have said a prayer for you.

Tomorrow is Homecoming at OCH. I will be spending the day in the gym decorating and practicing and getting ready for the big event. The senior class, which I sponsor, is in charge of concessions; and the Student Senate, which I also sponsor, is in charge of everything else! Thankfully, I have lots of good help this year, or I would be going crazy right now. I actually have a lot of things that need to be done tonite, so I am going to wrap this up and get busy.

I hope all of you have a wonderfully blessed weekend! Much love to all of you!

sick.

2006-11-12T10:38:00.000-06:00

Blah. I hate bein sick! I stayed home from church this morning to try to get some rest and get rid of this...whatever it is I have! Anyway. I don't have time to be sick is the thing. I will just have to power thru. I miss goin to church tho. When I don't go, I have serious withdrawals. I miss all you people and I just miss bein there. I will be there tonite, no matter what!

This past week went really fast for me! I just can't believe how fast the year is going! Friday night I actually did some Christmas shopping - can you believe it?? I can't! I don't think I've ever done Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving! LOL. But it was cold and felt like winter outside so...it kinda put me in the mood. I have not started listening to Christmas music yet, but I'm about to. Anyway.

Yesterday was a fun day. In the morning, I went to my little nephew Jaydon's 7th birthday party. It was at Chuck E. Cheese. That is a fun place for kids! Then I met Lisa and Sophia and Bethany to go shopping for Homecoming decorations. We actually got everything at one store, which was great! (I'm not a great shopper!) Then last night was the Alumni Gospel Sing. It was great fun and lots of people showed up. The music was really good and several of the songs were a real blessing to me. If you couldn't be there, you ought to order the DVD! Of course, after the concert, Jeff and Tami and Triston and Klaire and I heard Applebees calling our name...and of course there was bunch of other people from the concert there too...and it was Klaire's birthday so the waiters came out and sang to her and gave her an Oreo shake, so she was happy.

Woke up this morning feeling terrible, as I've already said, so I think I'm gonna go try to sleep some more. It's actually kinda hard to breathe while lying down...you know how it is. Ugh. Have I mentioned that I hate being sick!?!

This week I got my new Michael W. Smith CD, Stand, and I'm still listening to it. It's amazing. I love the song Open Arms and it, along with what Aaron preached about in chapel Wednesday (I wasn't there, but I heard all about it...and it sounded like it was awesome!)...well, it's got me thinking alot about love. I think we all need to be a lot more loving. After all, didn't Jesus say the greatest commandment was all about love? Hmmm... Well, anyway, I will post those lyrics if I can ever find them online. It's a really good song and you should listen to it if you can.
Well, I'm out for now. Hope everyone has a marvelous, worshipful Sunday! Pray for me and I'll pray for you!

Much love, as always, to all!

Xanga

2006-10-26T17:42:00.000-05:00

Don't forget to check my Xanga. I update it more often.

www.xanga.com/tawnyasmith

terror.

2006-10-07T21:46:00.000-05:00

Well, Kelso posted something about this on his blog, and as I was reading it and commenting him, I realized...I have a lot to say about it! So here I am.

The school shootings this week have been all over the news, and maybe you're tired of hearing about them. But truly, unless you are involved in a school on a daily basis, you don't know the fear that is inspired by these events. The massacre in the Amish schoolhouse hit especially close to home for those of us in private schools. Honestly, for the first time ever, I actually forced myself to face the question "what would I do?" If some psychotic maniac charged into my school and into my classroom, what are my options? I mean, we can have a plan and we can be "prepared" but truly...who is ever really prepared? One of my students said, "If that happened here, I would take him out...I'd charge him and take his gun..." And the guys are all pretty certain that they would never leave the girls to face a gunman alone. All heroic and hopefully unnecessary sentiments. But as I mentioned, it became pretty personal for me this week. I came to the decision that, first of all, I am ready to go. If it's my time, I'm ready. If God says it's time to go home, it's time. Additionally, I would die before I let anyone hurt any of my students. I mean, good grief, I get pretty protective of my students even when their lives are not being threatened. Of course, you never know if, by your death, you are going to save someone else's life, but how could you live with yourself if you didn't try and someone died? I know these are some pretty random, and possibly morbid, thoughts, but hey. These are things I have faced this week, and if I can't write them in my "online journal" what's the point?

My thoughts and prayers have been with the students, families, and school officials who have suffered these senseless tragedies this week. I simply cannot imagine the terror and the grief they are facing. Families have lost sisters and daughters and granddaughters and nieces....teachers have lost students, students have lost classmates. And, in a larger sense, we have all lost. We've lost some of the innocence, some of the trust. We've faced the realization, once again, that cruelty and madness can invade the safest of havens. There are no easy answers, no simple solutions. All we can do is pray that our faithful Heavenly Father will hear the cries of the innocent, that He will bring peace to the suffering, and that the people of our nation will turn to God. We know that eventually His justice will reign supreme, and all will be made right. I am waiting for that day.

Stay true to Jesus. He is coming soon.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.~1 Cor. 13:12

scattered.

2006-09-28T21:57:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe it's the end of the week already. This week has really flown by. It's been a good week. The weather here has been gorgeous. The trees are about to change colors, there is a definite bite in the wind, and I love it all! I absolutely love the season changes! Even winter. I know some people think I'm crazy, but I do love all the seasons. Of course, there are some things about winter that I dread, but there are lots of things I love about it too.

Anyway, in other news....there's not much news.

Tomorrow is the Walk-a-Thon. I guess I should try to get a lot of rest tonite so that I will be able to walk the full 5 miles. The way I feel today, 5 miles seems like a lot!! But I'm sure I'll make it.

Today we don't have to pick up our middle school kid, so bus run will be over early! Yay! The middle schoolers are out today and tomorrow, and everyone is out Monday! For public schools that is.

I'm so sad about what happened out in Colorado yesterday -- the school standoff/shooting in which a girl was killed. It's a very sick and sad world that we live in, my friends! Mr. Blake mentioned the verse today about "Men's hearts failing them for fear" as being appropo to this situation. It's true. It's a scary, scary world. Thank God we know the One who is in control!

Well, I know this has been a somewhat scattered and random entry. Welcome to my world! I've actually had a viscious, unrelenting headache all day today, so I'm just glad that I'm (somewhat) coherent.

Hope everyone has a lovely evening and a wonderful Friday!

Love to YOU!

restoration.

2006-09-26T00:38:00.000-05:00

Today I made a choice. I have chosen -- made the conscious decision -- to forgive. I won't go into detail, but the choice has been made, and only by God's grace and strength. I choose to set myself free from resentment and bitterness, and I choose to release into God's care the choices and actions of others. Forgiveness = Freedom.

So last week was very busy! I got to spend lots of time with good friends, doing things I love to do. I am truly blessed by friends and family. I love all of you sooo much!

Tuesday night I went with my friends Suzy, Chantelle, Richard, Matt, Michael, Katie, and Bryan to Jose Peppers and then to Sheridan's. Well, only the girls went to Sheridan's becuz the guys went to the gym to play basketball (I think?) Anyway.

Then Wednesday night I finally got to go to dinner with my good friend Michael. It is always good to see him and get caught up on each others' lives.

Thursday night was an incredible evening with Tami, Jeff, and Chantelle at the Michael W. Smith concert. Did you guys know that President Bush calls MWS "Dubya"? Hah -- I found that very funny! Anyway, it was an incredibly worshipful experience -- one that I'm not likely to forget anytime soon. And when his new CD, Stand, comes out in November, make sure you get it. It has some really good songs on it.

Friday night Chantelle, Suzy and I went to Starlight to see Hairspray. First we had dinner with Sarah, which was awesome because I hadn't seen her for soooo long! (Hi Sarah -- I know you'll read this! ) Anyway, the show was totally hilarious -- we had such a good time! It was good to laugh and just have fun. The weather was beautiful and I'm so glad I finally got to go to Starlight before the season ended!

Saturday night a bunch of us were at Jeff's house for Mexican food and games. It was really great to get to hang out with all those great people! We'll have to do it again soon!
Then Sunday night after church was a gathering of a different group of friends at Sharen's house. Again, lots of fun, food, and games!

See what I mean? I am so blessed! God has indeed blessed my life with amazing friends. I am completely fulfilled, content, and at peace. My gratefulness for God's faithfulness knows no bounds.

Thank you, Jesus, for being so good to me and to the people that I love. Thank you for being who you are and for the gift of salvation which I so often take for granted. Thank you for my wonderful friends and I pray your richest blessings on each of them. Please lift up the fallen, heal the hurting, strengthen the weary, and lead us all into your perfect will.

I'll leave you with more lyrics from MercyMe's Coming Up To Breathe CD. This is track #4:

Something About You

Where... where do I begin?
How do I say what's on my heart with paper and a pen?
How... how can I describe
The God of all the universe and make it rhyme?
I just wonder if it's worth
Painting You with so few words
Oh, with so few words

Still there's something about You
That keeps me in pursuit of who You are
I will spend my days, finding ways to praise
The glory and the grace of who You are

Why... why do I even try?
If I could speak the tongue of every man
I'm still tongue-tied
What can I say about You
When everything I have won't do
Oh, it will not do

Still there's something about You
That keeps me in pursuit of who You are
I will spend my days, finding ways to praise
The glory and the grace of who You are

As long as life runs through my veins
I will live to praise Your name
And if a hundred years I live
I won't even scratch, I won't even scratch the surface

Still there's something about You
That keeps me in pursuit of who You are
I will spend my days, finding ways to praise
The glory and the grace of who You are

Much love, as always, to all who read!

potpourri.

2006-09-18T22:59:00.000-05:00

You know what potpourri is, right? Well, that's what today's post is going to be like, because that's what my brain is like. I have all these thoughts just swirling around and well...they're likely to come out in some disorganized fashion. Just be prepared. I will use subtitles to try to help you. I don't know if they will help you or not. You can let me know.

bubble gum.
First of all, when I got in my car this afternoon, my car smelled like bubble gum. That was nice -- and somewhat strange. I just hope there is not a bubble gum surprise somewhere in my car.

faithfulness.
God knew exactly what I needed after the mostly awful week I'd had. He sent, first of all, wonderful friends and family my way so that I would know He cares for me. Twelve of us went to the Royals game on Friday night, and even though they lost, we had a great time. Then Saturday I got to go to lunch with my grandparents, which was a nice surprise. I didn't even know they were coming into town until they were already here! Also on Saturday, my former student Carolyn got married. Her wedding was beautiful and I'm very happy for her! I got to serve about a million cups of punch at her reception. It was really a fun day though. Then that night, I went out to help celebrate Sophia's 16th birthday! Yay for parties! It was lots of fun, even though I thought I was gonna die while we were playing spoons. Some of you people are pretty violent when it comes to spoons! THEN on Sunday, God really spoke to me through several different things. My pastor spoke about PASSION in both services, and Steven spoke on FORGIVENESS in the afternoon service. Both topics really convicted me. I know there are so many areas in which I need to move up in my Christian life. THEN I got some really good news -- my brother called to tell us that yesterday he did some pretty serious business with God and completely dedicated and recommitted his life to God. That's some pretty amazing stuff right there, folks. And I'm being totally serious. God is so good and so faithful and He ALWAYS answers prayer! Even when it's not the answer we expect, or in the time frame we'd like!!

breathe.
All of you have to hear MercyMe's new CD, Coming up to Breathe. It is simply amazing, and I haven't even heard it all yet! I've read some of the lyrics and well...let's just say I'll probably be posting some of them in days to come. The entire album just really speaks to me. If you get a chance, get the CD and listen to it! It's awesome!!

lyrics.
Track One - Coming up to Breathe
I'm in way too deep again
I've forgotten how to swim
I can't tell which way is up or down
Save me before I drown down here
I just need some air

I'm coming up to breathe
Oh, I'm coming up to breathe
I've held my breath for all my life
But I am breaking free tonight
And I'm coming up to breathe

I just need to break these chains
I just need to leave this place
Before now this was all I knew
But with just one glimpse of You
I seeYou're the air I need

I'm coming up to breathe
Oh, I'm coming up to breathe
I've held my breath for all my life
But I am breaking free tonight
And I'm coming up to breathe

I've done everything I can
To get myself up on dry land
Lord, here I am again
Reaching for Your hand

I'm coming up to breathe
Oh, I'm coming up to breathe
I've held my breath for all my life
But I am breaking free tonight
And I'm coming up to breathe

This one is for my friends who are hurting. You know who you are. I could name your names, but I don't want to embarrass anybody. But this is for you:

Track 3 -- Hold Fast
To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is Your grasp
So hold fast

You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is Your grasp
So hold fast

pray
One last thing before I end this. I know it's been long, so thanks for sticking with me to the end! But I think we all just really need to pray for each other, like never before. The devil has really been fighting. He has been causing conflict and division and misunderstandings. I know that I could really use prayer for my attitude -- that God would help me to forgive the hurtful things and to treat people with the love and mercy which He has given me.

God is good, all the time!

perfection.

2006-09-15T00:44:00.000-05:00

The weather has been so perfect. When it's chilly enough to need the heater in the mornings, and warm enough for the A/C in the afternoons, well...that's perfection to me.

The last two days have been horribly stressful. I'm just glad that even though we don't always understand the things that are going on, God does, and He's in complete control. He has already proven His love and care for me, so I don't have to worry. Not that I always trust Him perfectly, but He's teaching me. I'd appreciate it if all of you would pray for me because I really need to have the right attitude.

Yesterday I read the book of James. There are some amazing things in there. It totally convicted me. You should read it. Here are a few verses that stood out to me.

1:26-27 -- If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
2:12-13 -- Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!
3:1-2 -- Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3:13-18 -- Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

So anyway, I know that everything is going to be fine.

TGI(almost)F! Tomorrow night I'm going to the Royals game with my youth group. Then Saturday is Carolyn's wedding and Sophia's birthday party. I'll make sure and update with pictures!

Today I received a surprise visit from a former student, which totally made my day! Josh came to see me, and brought his fiance Heather. They are getting married next spring. Anyway, it was totally amazing to see him. He was truly a sight for sore eyes. I love that kid. He is doing good. He just moved to St. Louis and is still looking for a church, but I was happy to hear that he's still living for God. I was sad to hear that his little brother Andy is in jail and might be going to prison. You might pray for that family if you think of it.
I saw this today and it totally cracked me up...enjoy!

More Pictures

2006-08-24T20:16:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of Brandon and Karen's wedding.

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Random Pictures

2006-07-08T14:31:00.000-05:00

Stuff

2006-06-09T11:37:00.000-05:00

So, I just finished reading The Da Vinci Code. I wanted to read the book to see for myself what all the "fuss" was about. I have especially been interested in finding out why some well-meaning people have been so intent on proving that a work of fiction is, indeed, false. It seems to have caused a lot of unnecessary panic and, possibly, overreaction. So, I read it. It was intriguing and hard to put down, frankly. It isn't particularly well-written, and many of the purported "facts" are in fact, false. But it's fiction -- what do you expect?! I don't know that it was written "maliciously" as an attack against the church, but I don't know that it wasn't, either. It doesn't seem that all of the "information" presented in the book could be completely harmless and innocent, especially to the uneducated, uninformed reader. Anyway. This wasn't meant to be an analysis of the book -- you can access many of those that are well-written and much more thought-out than I have energy for right now! I don't necessarily recommend the book, especially for young readers, as there is some "mature content," but I would just encourage everybody to not react until you are completely informed!

Tonite I'm going to see "The King and I" at Theatre in the Park. I'm excited about that. It's supposed to be hot today, but that's okay. Summer cannot officially start until I've been to Theatre in the Park.

So, how is everyone's summer going? It sounds like most of you are keeping busy and (mostly) staying out of trouble. Keep in touch! Comment!!

Love to all who read!

2006-06-07T10:54:00.000-05:00

From You Bring the Confetti
By Luci Swindoll

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

A poet once described friends as "the sunshine of life." I myself have found that the day is certainly much brighter when I'm sharing it with my friends. Enjoying fellowship is one of life's sweetest blessings and joys. What would we do without people and the many shadings of companionship and camaraderie? We need friends in our lives, friends with whom we not only discuss "deep" issues and confide our secrets, fears, or sorrows, but with whom we can laugh, play, and even cry. The best times in life are made a thousand times better when shared with a dear friend.

Camaraderie is definitely a part of friendship, and camaraderie itself can often produce friendships, too. When we reach out to others, they reach out to us. It's a two-way street, a street practically lined with balloons and streamers in celebration of the unique bonds of friendship.

My friends are the sunshine in my life. My friends have been there for me with words of encouragement, they've prayed for me, laughed with me, cried with me, and just generally been pretty amazing. So...for all of that, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart.

God has truly blessed my life with many friends, and I am so grateful because it seems He always brings people into my life just at the exact moment I need them. His timing is perfect, and I could never ask for more.

Thanks for being my friend. I celebrate you today.

2006-06-03T16:59:00.000-05:00

So I heard a sermon this week about "delighting in the promises." Several of the things the minister said really hit home for me. First of all, that we are supposed to be delighting in God's promises. Not just enduring, not just "barely making it," but delighting. This journey with Jesus is supposed to be a delightful thing. And then, the idea that we are not just "standing on the promises" (as the old song says), but we are depending on the promise-Giver. We don't just trust in the promises, we trust in the One who made the promises! If His promises are good, then how much better must He be! One of the promises He mentioned was that of "daybreak." Just as in the physical sense, the setting sun each evening is a promise of the day to come, the darkness that sometimes enters our lives and our souls is a promise of the Light of the world that is Jesus. The promise is declared at dusk, doubted in the darkness, and delivered at dawn. I know there are many, many dark and terrible things that many of us have gone thru, and will continue to go thru, but we can take heart that the God of the Light, is still God in the night!

Wow

2006-05-28T01:11:00.000-05:00

What a week! This has been a crazy, crazy week!! First of all, my allergies have been worse than they have ever been, and so all week I have been really congested and yuck. Well, now I think it has turned into a cold. Not fun! Anyway.

Tuesday was the last day of classes. It was a half-day, and then the PTF (Parent-Teacher Fellowship) took the teachers out to lunch. That was nice! Tuesday night was the drama cast party, which about 50 people showed up to. I think we kinda overwhelmed Applebees, but it was all good. Wednesday was the school picnic, which ended up being lots of fun, and Wed. nite we had our youth group party -- to Jeff's for pizza then to the T-Bones game. THAT was totally cool! I have pictures which I will need to post sometime when I have my camera downstairs while I'm posting.

Thursday was a teacher workday, which I used to its fullest extent and got all my grading done, all my grades turned in, and all my awards and certificates ready to go. CARA got here around 1PM and helped me quite a bit...thanks, babe! Then Thur. night was the awards assembly, and after that we went and ate at Applebees with Michael. Oh my goodness. I think it must have been 8th grade prom nite, because there were all these little obnoxious kids who were SO LOUD we had to yell to each other to be heard! It was kinda hilarious!

Friday I had to be at the school for a meeting at 10AM, then we decorated for graduation all afternoon. THAT was stressful. Thankfully, I had some good help! Thanks to all the wonderful people who helped us out!! Yay for you! Friday night was graduation, and I will post pictures of that later too. It was a really good night. It was soooo hot!! The faculty had to sit on the stage and oh my word. In the middle of graduation, one of the light gels fell down onto some of the teachers. That was pretty funny, for those who saw it. After graduation, we did some party-hopping and got to see lots of cool people. I took a picture of a table-full of "kids" who are all either current or former students of mine. Wow. Some things just make ya realize that time has flown and you've been teaching a long time.

I just finished my 10th year of teaching, for those of you who don't know. Yep. Ten years. I graduated from college 10 years ago. Unbelievable. Of the kids who were in my first 8th grade class, three of them have graduated from college, one has a masters' degree, and two of them are serving our country in the military. None of them are married, that I know of, but one is getting married this August. Where has the time gone?

So today I woke up really sick, and spent most of the day in bed. Then this evening we went to a dinner over at the school that was a fundraiser for the college group that is going to the Carribbean in a couple weeks. THAT was cool!! We had so much fun! Then we went to Sharen's house and Jeff, Sharen, Cara and I ate Sheridan's and played Zobmondo. Fun times!!
Well, I guess I'd better wrap this up and go to bed so I'll be worth something in the morning.

Hope everyone is doing great and that you have a wonderful holiday! I'll try to update again soon -- with pictures!

Love to all who read!

For My Cuz

2006-05-18T18:00:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you just a little bit about my cousin. His name is Aaron Wayne Skeen and he discovered America about 1 ½ years after I did. Although we have never even lived in the same state, we have always been close, which is why I’m writing this.

Aaron is getting married on Saturday. May 20th. He’s 31 ½ years old and he’s getting married. And I couldn’t be happier for him. He deserves this. But I can’t help feeling a little sentimental and nostalgic...and yes, a little sad. Because, you see, Aaron and I have been buds for a long time...

I cannot remember a time when Aaron was not part of my life. We grew up only seeing each other once or twice a year, yet that never affected our closeness. Some of my earliest memories include his sister (Debbie), my brother (Scott), Aaron and I playing together in my grandparents’ basement or yard, or at their farm. From the first, it seemed that Aaron and I were allies in fighting off the "obnoxious" younger siblings. The two of them stuck together, and so did Aaron and I. He was my protector and defender from a very young age.

Well, as most of you know and can probably guess, that hasn’t changed much. Yes, we’ve grown up and lots of things have changed, but Aaron and I have remained close. We've attended youth camp together for many years, graduating from being campers, to sponsoring teams together, and even served on the Youth Council together for awhile. Last summer, I was blessed to be able to go to Russia with him on a missions' trip.

Aaron has become a young man with a heart for God. I’ve watched him develop into someone who inspires me with his level of commitment and desire to serve God. He is deeply spiritual without having to talk much about it. He is deeply emotional and loves his family and friends with a passion that is sometimes frightening, especially to those who would challenge it. He is an amazing listener and can be trusted to keep everything from the smallest secret to the biggest confidence. When Aaron and I are together, nobody has to talk. We can sit for hours (doesn’t usually happen, especially with me) without ever needing to say anything. He understands me completely and always has, without ever needing an explanation.

My gratefulness to God for blessing my life with Aaron knows no bounds. I cannot express how deeply thankful I am for the many years we have had, and I am looking forward to many more years of happy times and fun memories!

Am I glad that Aaron has fallen in love and is marrying the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with? Yes, absolutely. Do I wish him and his new bride all the happiness in the world? Without reservation. Do I have mixed feelings, knowing that things are going to be different now? Yeah, I do. Somewhat selfishly, I am dreading the fact that this changes things. I know that Aaron and I will always be close. I know I’ll always be able to talk to him about anything. But this doesn’t change the fact that he will now have a wife. He will have an obligation and a commitment that he’s never had before. Does this change the fact that he loves me and is my cousin? No. Does it make me sad that I probably won’t see him as often, and that our time spent together will most likely be limited? Yep. It does. I’m happy for him, and kinda sad for me. I hope that doesn’t sound selfish.

I don’t think my feelings have anything to do with the fact that Aaron is leaving the ranks of the "singles" and joining up with the "marrieds." I really don’t. I have heard people say that they feel betrayed or rejected when a single friend or relative gets married, but I don’t feel that way. I just feel a little sad because of the changes that will take place.

I am a single person who believes in marriage and who supports my married friends in every way I can. I will support Aaron and Alyssa in their marriage and I will continue to be happy for them, knowing that they are following God and obeying Him with their lives. I am unreservedly happy for them both, and I welcome Alyssa to the family with open heart and arms.

I just hope you can understand the temporary sense of nostalgia and sadness that I feel, knowing that a new chapter in life is beginning. Definitely for them, but also for me. I gladly watch as my dear, sweet cousin begins a new life with his bride. I am happy to witness their wedding and their vows and to pledge my support to them as they begin their new life together. And I trust that the same Heavenly Father who fills all voids and who heals all hearts will lead them forever down the path of His perfect will.

Here’s to Aaron and Alyssa. Here’s to beautiful memories and bright futures. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness – past, present and future. Here’s to the knowledge that our Father leads us faithfully as we follow Him.

Wizard of Oz

2006-05-14T22:06:00.000-05:00

To see pictures of the KCCBS drama department's production of The Wizard of Oz, please go to www.xanga.com/tawnyasmith.

Youth Retreat 2006

2006-05-01T20:37:00.000-05:00

For a report on Harmony Hill Youth Retreat, complete with pictures, please visit my Xanga site.

Click here.

Lifesong Tour

2006-04-23T19:53:00.000-05:00

If you get a chance to go to see the Lifesong Tour, do it!! We went last night and it was amazing! I wanted to take pictures, but the rules on the website for the venue stated "no cameras or recording devices" so we didn't take our cameras. Of course, EVERYONE else was taking pictures, so we were a little ticked. Oh well. Anyway, the concert was an incredibly worshipful and powerful experience. So many of the songs spoke to me but one especially that Nichole Nordeman did was especially meaningful. Here are the lyrics. Listen to it sometime if you can, because the music is also powerful. (You can read the story that this song is based on here.)

Lay It Down
To every son and daughter
Wayward and long gone
The love of a Father will leave the light on
I tried to throw you off track
A needle in the haystack
And I don't know how you found me
Or why you let me come back
Cuz it's a long way home when all you're left to carry
Is a heart of stone
And the weight of most the world
And I'd like to

Chorus:
Lay it down a little
Lay it down a lot
I don't want to hold it anymore
Lay it down in pieces or
Lay it down in whole
Everything I've carried on my own
Lay it down
Lay it down
Lay it down
Lay it down

I spent your money
Living on the fringes
But you threw a party for me
Invited all your big friends
And I have learned a little bit about a heavy load
All that gleams and glitters is not worth its weight in gold
And I know I should

Chorus
Lay it down a little
Lay it down a lot
I don't want to hold it anymore
Lay it down in pieces or
Lay it down in whole
Everything I've carried on my own
Lay it down
Lay it down
Lay it down
Lay it down
Lay it down a little
Lay it down a lot
I don't want to hold it anymore
Lay it down in pieces or
Lay it down in whole
Everything I've carried on my own
Lay it down
Lay it down
Lay it down
Lay it down
To every son and daughter, wayward and long gone...

So I know there are a lot of things that I need to lay down. God has been convicting me in a lot of areas, and trying to get me to the place that I can lay some stuff down. I don't want anything to clutter my life so that it becomes a hindrance in my relationship with Him. I'm sure we can all think of things that we need to give God control over. Why is it so hard? When we know that the safest place for all of those things is in God's hands. It must be human pride and stubborness, and perhaps a little stupidity -- at least in my case! As Nichole sang this song last night, I told God that all of the issues in my life are His. I am laying them down at His feet. I know that He will pick them up and use them. I trust Him that much. I just need to keep my hands off and let Him be God!

Check my Xanga

2006-04-17T20:59:00.000-05:00

If you ever come here and notice that it's been awhile since I've updated, go to www.xanga.com/tawnyasmith. Sometimes I update there and forget to put it on here. I'll try to do better with that, cuz I know some of you only do blogspot. Anyway.

Hope everyone had a great weekend! Mine was extremely busy! On Friday night, I attended a really meaningful and special Good Friday service, then had a bunch of people over to my house for games and food. That was a lot of fun! Saturday, my mom, brother, nephew and I went down to Tulsa to spend Easter with the Smiths. My dad couldn't go becuz he had scheduled a revival prior to our planning the Tulsa trip. Anyway, we had a really good time with all the family there, and I will try to post pictures soon. If none show up here soon, again, check my Xanga. It's easier to post pictures there than here. Actually, it's easier to do most things there than here. Haha.

Today my family and I went to Ava, Missouri -- Mt. Zion to be more exact -- to celebrate the life of Ivan "Grandpa" Arnold who went home to Heaven on Good Friday. It was a really long trip for such a short visit, but it was worth it. It's important for people to know you care. And it's important to have the opportunity to say "goodbye for now" and to know the hope of meeting again someday. What a precious gift, to know that the "goodbye" is not forever.

Well, I'm very tired, and I'm not feeling the greatest, so I'm gonna go for now. Hope you all had a wonderful Easter!

Love to all who read!

2006-04-06T21:14:00.000-05:00

Quote for the Day from Cara: "I need to pay more attention to her because I would want people to pay attention to me, if I were me."

Oh my goodness. I just realized that Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is doing a special "After the Storm" show tonite. That is only my favorite show in the world. So I might be a little distracted as I type this. Or I might just wait till the show's over. And you'll never know...mwahahaa!!

So today was interesting. Usually I have my jr. high class for 1st, 2nd, and 4th hours on Thursdays, but today their 3rd hour teacher was sick, so I had them all morning! Which was fine with me, because I love them (and yes, I would say that even if some of them didn't read this) but I think being in the same classroom for so long got to be a little much for some of them. They ended up being a little mean to each other and fighting and stuff. But it was all good. We had a good time. It was also interesting because the entire grade school went on a field trip and took the principal and the secretary with them, so we were quite literally on our own. Plus nobody unlocked the doors before they left, so we were all upstairs and completely oblivious to the fact that some of the late-arriving students were effectively locked out. I got a pretty humorous description from one senior of her attempts to get in the school. She knew her class was in there, but she couldn't see anybody, and come to find out, her class had been sent up to the library after all because their teacher was sick. It was just crazy, I tell ya! But we did get stuff done, in spite of it all!

Okay. I just have to say some things here that I have been needing to say for quite some time. I know that some of you are going to think I am targeting certain people, but I'm not. I have been thinking about these things for a looong time. And even though some of you are still going to think to yourself when you read this, "I know exactly who she's talking about" you don't! Cuz I'm not talking about anyone in particular. This is just a rant, okay?

Anytime I say things like this, I feel like people are going to think that I am against marriage. I'm not. I believe very strongly in marriage. I believe God ordains marriage and when it's done right, it can be the most beautiful thing ever. Key phrase: "when it's done right."
I am extremely disturbed when I see people taking marriage lightly. I believe that when you commit to marry someone, it is serious, and it is for life. No turning back. There should not be any thoughts of, "well, if it doesn't work out, we'll just get a divorce." NO. God wants the relationship between a husband and wife to be a picture of His relationship with the church. Has he ever divorced the church or been unfaithful to the church? NO. I believe marriage should be taken very seriously.

That being said, I do of course know that there are times when abuse and unfaithfulness make it impossible for marriages to work out. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about going into the marriage without a sense of true commitment.

I am disturbed when I sense that people are rushing into marriage. What's the rush? I know that's going to sound funny to some of you because you're thinking, "well, that's easy to say, just cuz YOU haven't rushed into it." Please understand, I'm not saying people have to wait as long as I have. And I'm not saying people need to wait until I'm ready for them to get married. When it comes right down to it, it's really none of my business. But this is my blog, and I get to express my opinions here! I would just hope that people are waiting until they are ready! Ya know? People have their whole lives ahead of them to be married. Why put extra stress on a marriage by getting married so young? Are you going to go to college? Are you going to have good options for a career? What if you end up having a baby right away? It is my firm belief that people should not get married until they are ready to have kids, because it could happen. That doesn't mean they have to have kids right away, obviously, but be prepared for the possibility! Surprises (not accidents!) do happen!!

It is a proven fact that young people change tremendously between the ages of 18 and 25. You might not even be the same person when you are 25 that you were when you were 18. What if you don't like the person your spouse becomes after they grow up? Seriously!

I want to reiterate that I am not targeting the people you think I am. Yes, there have been four different couples I know who have announced their engagement within the last month. But I'm not targeting any of them. Or maybe I'm thinking of all them. You'll never know! The point is, these are the things that have been on my heart, and the things I would like for EVERY person who is considering marriage to consider. Marriage is serious. I have watched too many of my friends go through painful divorces. I have seen too many unhappy marriages and painful situations. I have witnessed too many regrets and hurts and "if onlys" to just let it all go by. God has a wonderful plan for each of us. He has only the best in store. I hope that we all truly seek out His will. My deepest desire is to have God's smile of approval on my life. I hope that's what you want too!

There is too much pressure in our society to get married. I feel it all the time. Sometimes you are made to feel as if you are not normal if you are not married. That's not okay. God has a different plan for every single (no pun intended) person He placed on this earth. There are many things that are much worse than being single! (I hesitate to say that, because by saying "worse" the implication is that being single it "bad" and it's not, but hopefully you know what I mean.) I guess I will have to resort to the motto that has been my quote for some time so in honor of Chris I will say: "It's better to be single than wish you were!"

Well,this hasn't been polished, and hasn't been said as well as I would have liked, but it has come from my heart. No apologies. This is how I feel.

I'd like to give a shout-out to all my single friends. I love all my married friends, but this is for you single guys and gals. God has a plan for you! You might meet the man/woman of your dreams tomorrow or next week or next year or when you get to Heaven and fall at Jesus' feet. The important thing is that we follow Christ and His will for our lives. I love you all and I know the struggles you face! Anytime you want to talk, I'm here!

Love, love, love to all who read!

I'm Lovin' It...

2006-04-03T20:46:00.000-05:00

(And not McDonald's, neither!)

I love these verses I keep finding. Maybe they seem random to you, but they are meaning something to me, and this is my blog, so you're just gonna have to deal.

"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings.... You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor." James 3:17-18 (MSG)

The past few weeks and months have been really convicting for me. Through God's mercy and grace, I have grown a lot in Him, and He has been teaching me so many things. One of the things He's been convicting me of is that there are some things in my past that I absolutely MUST let go of. No other option. I really feel that God has led me right to the brink of a breakthrough. I know that He wants to free me completely from the captivity of unforgiveness. Would you guys help me pray for complete deliverance? I know God has the answer for me, and I also know that I have surrendered absolutely everything to Him. I want everything -- everything -- that God has for me. And I am open to His working in my life.

Here are some lyrics that I know you've heard before. Have you ever really thought about them though, and let God speak through them to you? Today I did, and the result was a lot of conviction!

"Voice of Truth"
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth
tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says,
"Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says,
"This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth
tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says,
"Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says,
"This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
On top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
But the Voice of Truth
tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says,
"Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says,
"This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices
calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe-
I will choose to listen and believe
the Voice of Truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe
the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you, you are-

Thanks, guys, for listening -- or reading! -- and please keep me in your prayers!
Love to all who read!

Check it out!

2006-03-27T23:41:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! See what you think about this:

www.peachpunchjunkies.blogspot.com

Comment and tell me what you think!!

Thanks!!

Amazing Stuff

2006-03-25T08:24:00.000-06:00

I just want you to know that

God is amazing!

I am in such awe of the things that God has been doing and teaching me lately! I had an amazing answer to prayer yesterday that I can't really talk about in detail (some of you know) but God totally led and directed in a situation with student and...well, it just pays to trust God! He is totally faithful!

Yesterday morning in my devotions I read the verse from Romans 8 that says,

"We are more than conquerors through Him that loved us."

And the emphasis was on the "through HIM" part -- that we just need to "let God do it!" Let Him fight the battle and trust Him to win! Pretty cool, and it was just what I needed!

And then yesterday, I listened to my new David Phelps CD, "Life is a Church" (really great CD by the way, and yes, I know, I'm behind because it's not really that new!) and heard the song "That's What Love Is" for the first time and that totally spoke to me! You have to hear it to appreciate it completely, but here are the lyrics, and for those of you that know yesterday's story, you know how well this fits. Again, just what I needed!

It’s the only thing worth life and death.

It’s the first moment and the final breath.

It’s a broken heart keeping a solemn vow

And a lost soul being found.

You pray for faith when it’s hard to believe.

You choose to stay when it’s easy to leave

And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.

That’s what love is

When you give until there’s nothing left

And it makes you give the very best.

That’s what love is.

It can make you laugh and make you cry.

It can let you down and lift you up so high

When you find the only reason left to live.

That’s what love is.

It’s the dream you give up for someone else.

It’s being strong when you’re weak yourself.

Though it tears you up you trust again.

Hatred loses and forgiveness wins.

You turn your cheek when you want to fight.

Sell all you have and lay down your life

And when hope is gone

you’re the one who keeps holding on.

It’s reaching out and holding on so someone else will know.

Love is in the not letting go.

If you ever get a chance to hear the song, do it! The whole CD is actually worth listening to.
Anyway, my point in all this is to just let you know, if you were wondering or doubting, that God is entirely faithful. He does not just leave us to our own devices, but He always makes a way! It's so exciting to serve Him and to see Him work! I'm so excited about what He's done, and the work He's continuing to do, in my life and in the lives of those that I love!

God bless your weekend! Love to all who read!

Go There

2006-03-24T23:30:00.000-06:00

Go to www.xanga.com/tawnyasmith to see pictures and descriptions of my spring break. I just don't feel like reposting it. So go there if you want to see! :)

Love to all who read!

Comments are welcome!! :)

Life to the full

2006-03-17T02:18:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. I don't even know if anyone still reads this, but I guess I'll keep posting. I get more comments on my Xanga, but oh well. I'm not really doing it for the comments anyway. Haha. (Altho comments are nice...so if you read this, you could comment to let me know...hint, hint! hehe) ANYWAY, I am still in Idaho -- it's about 1:30 AM here and I think we're gonna leave around 8 AM to go back to Colorado. But I just needed to share this before I hit the bed.

One of the great things about this vacation has been the extra time I've been able to spend with my best friend, Jesus. And it hasn't come naturally or easily -- being in a small house with four other adults and two babies doesn't leave much time for "extras" or a whole lot of privacy either. BUT I have been making an effort, and it has been paying off. I hope to be able to share some of the things God has shown me this week.

I received this in an e-mail today and it spoke to me so strongly that I wanted to post it. It's from a book by Bishop Jim Earl Swilley called A Year in the Now and it references the verse John 10:10.

1. Today I will live in the now because I have learned how to appreciate my life-to celebrate all of it-reveling in my victories, learning from my defeats and simply enjoying the journey. God is Good, Life is Good, It's all good!
2. I will be happy and thankful and positive and light. . . . . . with a good attitude. . . .
3. Today I will not waste my time for celebration by regarding regrets. . . . .
4. Today I will praise the Lord Who is great and greatly to be praised......
5. Today I will live in the moment...seize the day, rejoice and be glad in the day the Lord has made. I will embrace the world around me and love it unconditionally.
6. Today I will enjoy abundance and favor and prosperity and success......Joy flows out of my heart like a river, bringing life to the desert of depression where so many are dying.
7. Today is a day to thank Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals by making bitter experiences sweet. He has turned for me my mourning into dancing and has given me the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. I celebrate his life in me because he has girded me with gladness and caused my cup to run over. Today he anoints me with the oil of joy above those around me and today, I will LIVE IN THE NOW.

May God grant us all the grace and strength to truly LIVE IN THE NOW. To forget the past and all its hurts and regrets, and move on to all the wonderful things He has in store for us! I intend to live today and every day in the abundance of God's riches that are mine thru Christ.

God bless you all!! More Idaho updates will be coming soon...with pictures! :)

Idaho

2006-03-15T03:09:00.000-06:00

It's beautiful! So beautiful here. I'm taking pictures, which I will hopefully be able to post when I get home! Here is a synopsis of what has happened so far:

Saturday my uncle and I left KC about 7 AM for Colorado. We went thru Iowa, a little corner of Wyoming (I think) and Nebraska, which I had never done before, and which proved to be quite interesting. I've always just gone straight west on I-70 which is completely boring. Anyway, we got to Berthoud, CO (where my cousin Aaron lives) about dinner time so decided to go eat Chinese. Cara finally got there (after getting lost--heehee!) and Aaron went to pick up Alyssa and we all met at the Chinese restaurant. It was really good food and we all ate too much, and we found out President Bush has eaten there before! It was snowing beautifully when we got done eating! We went back to Aaron's, and he put Cara and I on the hide-a-bed which was kinda hilarious. Especially since he only had one teeny-tiny blanket for us to share! But we survived and the next morning we went to the Loveland Church to see the KCCBS ensemble. They did a marvelous job!! It was so cool to see everybody!

My uncle and I left straight from church to head for Idaho. We drove for about 5 or 6 hours, up into the mountains, and discovered that due to the weather and weather-related accidents, they had closed the roads! So we ended up having to spend the night in a little town called Green River, Wyoming. It's a beautifully picturesque little town, and if you ever get a chance, you should go there. Of course, the only reason you'd really notice it is if you had to stay there, which would mean the roads were closed, so I wouldn't really wish that on you. Anyway, we got up and left at 5:00 the next morning (Monday morning) and made it to Caldwell, Idaho by about 3 PM. It was a brutal trip! The mountains were incredibly beautiful though!! I took pictures but they will probably not do them justice.

After we got here, we went over to Jeff and Deb's old house and finished moving them out (they just had a bunch of last minute stuff in the garage) and then we just sat around, I played with the kids, and we talked until like 1:00 in the morning.

This morning I slept till about 10 and then got up and we all just kinda messed around and then tonite after Jeff got off work we went into Boise and the guys shopped at Best Buy while us gals and the babies went to TJ Max. Other than Madison doing a nosedive out of the shopping cart, the shopping was uneventful. (She was okay -- mostly scared. Grandma was scared most of all.) Then we all went and ate at Texas Roadhouse, then came home and I read Madison stories before she went to bed. Then all the grownups went to bed. Except me, obviously, since I'm still up and typing like mad.....

I just gotta tell you, these kids of Debbie's and Jeff's are sooo cute! I know they're my cousins, but still. They are cute! I will post pictures of them and you will see! Madison is two (she'll be 3 in August) and she is pixie-cute! Chase is 9 months old today. He is precious! He has the biggest, bluest eyes ever, and the most adorable chuckle you've ever heard. He's very much like his Uncle Aaron.

Well, I am gonna quit for now. My brain is starting to shut down, and it's always dangerous to keep writing when that happens. I hope everyone is having a marvelous week and that you are warm, safe, and happy!! I miss all you KC people and Cara...I'll see you soon!! Love you all!

SPRING BREAK!!!

2006-03-11T00:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, kids! I'm headed off -- out of town, for spring break! Tomorrow my uncle and I are leaving at 7 AM (actually, I guess that's this morning!) and driving to Denver and spending the night at my cousin Aaron's house. We will get up Sunday morning, go to church (I think we'll be at the KCCBS service at Loveland so I'll see some of you there!) then we're gonna head for Caldwell, Idaho, where my cousin Debbie and her family live! I'm very excited about seeing them and their new house and where they live and...just everything! It's going to be fun! I will not be back in Kansas City until the evening of March 20th. Yes, for those of you that are paying attention, that means I will miss that day of school! Never fear, you'll have a wonderful substitute and I'll be back on Tuesday!! I'll miss you all!! Hope everybody has a great week and I'll try to be in touch as much as possible. Hopefully I'll have some great pictures to post!! Love to all!!

2006-03-10T00:18:00.000-06:00

God is faithful, God is good, and He definitely answers prayer! He has spoken to me in so many ways the past few weeks, and revealed Himself in such new and exciting ways that I can't even express it. It's much too late for me to be trying to express anything adequately anyway, but I just wanted to give a shout-out to God because He's awesome! I love Him with my entire being, and HE LOVES ME! AND YOU!

Thank you, Jesus, for rocking my world, and making me realize anew how amazing you are!

2006-03-03T16:43:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone! I heard this song today on my way to work. I have been rejoicing in recent weeks over the fact that God is always so willing to meet me exactly where I am. And this song says it so well! Not just in salvation or other "crisis" experiences -- as important as those are! -- but in the ups and downs, the ordinary and the extraordinary, my Heavenly Father goes the extra mile!

When God Ran
Almighty God
The Great I Am
Immoveable Rock
Omnipotent, Powerful
Awesome Lord
Victorious Warrior
Mighty Conquerer
Commanding King of Kings
And the only time
The only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home,
I knew I'd broken His heart
I wondered if
Things would ever be the same
Then one night
I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road
Ahead I could see
It was the only time
The only time I ever saw Him run

He ran to me
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again"
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise
It dropped me to my knees
When God ran

Then, in our faculty meeting this morning, Mr. Blake started talking about the chapter of "Lost Things" in the Bible (Luke 15) and how it's notable that with each of those lost things, the owner went out and physically and literally looked for it until it was found. And the father of the lost son was no different because the original language implies that the fact that the father saw the son coming down the road was no coincidence -- he was watching for him, and had been since he left! What a beautiful picture of the God that I serve! I'm so glad that He looked for me till He found me; and that even now, when I mess up, stumble and fall, stray from His path -- He meets me right there, forgives, restores, and heals. Praise Him forever!

Johari Results

2006-02-26T08:02:00.000-06:00

Thanks to the 8 of you who contributed!

Arena

(known to self and others)

cheerful, friendly, giving, loving, trustworthy

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, accepting, adaptable, calm, caring, confident, dependable, happy, helpful, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, logical, mature, observant, reflective, relaxed, religious, self-assertive, silly, warm, wise

Façade

(known only to self)

searching

Unknown

(known to nobody)

bold, brave, clever, complex, dignified, energetic, extroverted, idealistic, independent, ingenious, introverted, modest, nervous, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, responsive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, witty

All Percentages

able (12%) accepting (12%) adaptable (12%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (12%) caring (37%) cheerful (50%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (12%) dependable (25%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (37%) giving (25%) happy (25%) helpful (12%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (12%) introverted (0%) kind (37%) knowledgeable (12%) logical (12%) loving (50%) mature (12%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (12%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (12%) relaxed (12%) religious (25%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (12%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (12%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (37%) warm (12%) wise (12%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 26.2.2006, using data from 8 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view Tawn418's full data.

2006-02-17T09:34:00.000-06:00

Check this out. You might have to copy and paste cuz I can't figure out how to make it into a link...grrr! I'm so computer literate! Hah. Or go to my Xanga -- whatever...;)

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Tawn418

Take My Quiz!

2006-02-14T00:24:00.000-06:00

Take My Quiz
- on -
QuizYourFriends.com!

New Stuff

2006-02-13T23:51:00.000-06:00

Hey, I've posted some stuff recently at www.xanga.com/tawnyasmith, if you wanna check that out. ;)

I just want to go on record as being extremely grateful to God for His mercy and love to me and to those I love. He is ever-faithful and He proves Himself to me on a daily basis! I cannot say enough about how Good God Is!

I hope you all have a wonderfully Happy Valentine's Day, and that you are able to truly celebrate the best love ever known -- that of God for you! When He is the Lover of your soul, then and only then will you be truly loved! And then and only then will you be able to truly love!

Bored!

2006-02-05T20:41:00.000-06:00

Okay, Aaron says my last post did not make sense...whatever, Aaron! Just kiddin, I love ya!

Today is Alex, my little nephew's, 10th birthday. I miss him and wish I could see him! That's my nephew right there. :)
<<<<<

I am tired and it's been a long week and I'm bored with the Super Bowl! Urgh! I'm ready to do something else, anything else. The only exciting part of this game was watching Tom Brady do the coin toss!! And some of the commercials have been kinda funny.

Well, I know this has not been very inspiring. I just posted on my xanga and used up all my inspiration, apparently. That's not saying much either. =P

Love to all!! Have a great week!

Trees

2006-01-26T21:01:00.000-06:00

So today I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Trees are the answer." I just wanna know -- if trees are the answer, what the heck is the question??!!

And, by the way, the bumper sticker was attached to the back of a truck that was pulling a wood chipper. The back of the truck was nearly full with chips of wood. I guess trees are the answer to that guy's...need for mulch. Hmmm.

For Aaron

2006-01-18T14:18:00.000-06:00

Okay, this is just for Aaron, who says I never post anymore, which is kinda true, but kinda not. As I reminded him, I do post on my Xanga site more frequently. So go there if you want to read more!! Anyway, little buddy, this better get me a comment! :) Just kiddin.

So life is very busy and very good. I still miss Cara a bunch. It's very weird watching all of our TV shows together and just hanging out or wishing I had someone to do something with...oh well. Life goes on, right? Jane the dog misses her too...last night she kept going over to where Cara usually sat and sniffing around like she was looking for her! It was cute and kinda sad!

School is going pretty good, I think. We got some new students this semester, which should prove to be a challenge.

This weekend is the college retreat. I'm really hoping it goes well and that lots of people come!! I know there are lots of reasons to stay away (finances, schedule, etc.) but seriously, I think it will be very beneficial to all who attend!! Plus, you can't beat the good food (Betty's cooking!) and good fun!!

I guess intramurals starts this weekend too. I have no idea what that word means or how to spell it, so I usually prefer to call it the church leagues. This year, however, it seems that we have some "non-church" teams, so that should be interesting. What it used to be was all the area churches would put together one (or two, or three...) basketball teams and every Saturday night they would get together and play basketball. Well, in recent years, we have added some new things such as an alumni team and such. This year it seems some of the alumni have formed a couple of teams, so I think that will possibly be cool. I will let you know. :) haha

Hmmm...what else. Oh yeah. How could I forget. We're kicking off 40 Days of Purpose here at the school tomorrow. And our church is doing the same thing on Sunday. So it promises to be a very busy, but hopefully profitable and challenging and rewarding 40 days!! I told someone that doing it double like this makes it seem kinda like 80 days! But I think it will be really good. I'm a small group leader in both places (church and school) so that should be fun. I seriously am really looking forward to it.

Well, the bell just rang so I gotta go. Billie is in trouble. :P

Love to all!

(Aaron better comment!!) :):):)

Crazy Days

2006-01-11T23:06:00.000-06:00

Hello my little friends. I know you've missed me. ;)

Happy New Year! I can't believe I haven't updated ALL YEAR!! I hope all of you are having a simply magnificent 2006 so far!!

Life has been incredibly busy and just plain crazy for me lately. I can't even tell you how crazy it has been...just trust me!

I am actually extremely exhausted right now. I just wanted to post something new. I don't know if this actually counts as an update or not. I'll try to post something interesting soon. Between now and then, if you really want to know about my life, just ask. Haha.

Love to all! G'nite.

Harmony Hill College Retreat

2005-12-30T00:46:00.000-06:00

*Since our HHYC website is temporarily down, I am just going to post this here, for those of you who read this. Something very exciting is going to be happening in January! It's something that has been on our hearts and minds for several years, and this year we are making it happen! It's a College Retreat -- focused on helping college students learn to defend their faith. It should be an exciting time -- keep reading for more details...

*HHYC is back up! www.hhyc.net

WHERE IS IT? Harmony Hill Youth Camp near Fulton, MO
WHEN IS IT? January 20-22, beginning with registration on Friday evening and ending with the noon meal on Sunday
WHO IS INVITED? High school juniors and seniors, college students, and beyond!
WHO IS THE SPEAKER? Greg Blake, who is a professor at KCCBS, and a gifted theologian and apologist
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? $35 for the entire weekend -- includes food and heated rooms!

We will be staying in the new building on the Hill -- bunking up in the new rooms, and using the new kitchen and dining hall for meals and sessions. It should be an amazing time of learning, sharing, drawing closer to God, and of course, being with friends, meeting new friends, having lots of fun, and eating lots of good food!

Please let me know if you're interested and I can give you more information. Tell all your friends about it!!

2005-12-28T18:50:00.000-06:00

If you read this
You must post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want!
It can be good...or bad (but preferably good...lol).
Just so long as it happened.
Then post this to your journal,
and see what people remember about you.

Christmas pictures

2005-12-27T00:52:00.000-06:00

Our Christmas Tree, loaded with presents!

My nephew Alex playing a game he got from his grandma and grandpa(my parents)

My brother Scott and my nephew Alex, wearing the shirts I got them!

My brother Scott playing with his dog, Jane (and her new toy)

Scott and Alex playing with Alex's new toys

Scott and Alex, engrossed in new toys

Alex

My grandma and grandpa opening their gift from Alex

all over but the memories

2005-12-26T14:46:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone had a wonderfully blessed Christmas! I certainly did!

On Christmas morning, we had an early service at church, and it was AMAZING! I think it is only natural and right to worship God on the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus!

There were many different aspects of the worship that were a blessing to me. First of all, Mark Cook (Gene Cook's brother, William Cook's son) was there and played his saxaphone for two special songs. At the very beginning of the service, he played "Mary Did You Know?" which is an amazing song, especially when played by an expert on an alto sax! It just set the tone for the entire service, which was worshipful and blessed by God's presence! During worship, we sang "He is Here." Did you ever think about that being a Christmas song? I never had, but when you think about it in the context of "Emmanuel -- God with us" it is incredible! He is truly and forever WITH US! And we can touch Him! Maybe not in the physical sense that Mary did, and the shepherds did, and His disciples did, but we can still touch Him! Then Mark played "Because He Lives" on his tenor sax. Again, I had never thought of that song as being a Christmas song. Another revelation! Because He had to be born in order to live and die, and it's Because He Lives that we even have a future and a hope! That's what it's all about!

Then the pastor preached a message and told a story. He told the story of Narnia and the children and Aslan. Of course, he brought out the fact that Aslan is a picture of Christ, and he talked about the Lion of Judah. I will never forget this quote: "When He cries in the manger, can you hear the Lion roar? In the submissive tones of a 12-year-old obeying His parents, can you hear the Lion roar? When He tells His mother, 'I must be about my Father's business,' can you hear the Lion roar? When he tells the woman, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more,' can you hear the Lion roar? On the cross, when He cries, IT IS FINISHED, you can hear the ROAR of the Lion!" He also quoted the part in the book (it's not in the movie) when one of the children is asking Mr. and Mrs. Beaver about Aslan, because they have not as yet met Him. And the child asks, "Is He safe, because I will be nervous to meet a Lion!" And the Beavers respond, "Of course He's not safe! He's a Lion after all! But He is GOOD!" And when you are on the side of goodness and justice, you have no need to be afraid.

Well, that's all for now. I hope everyone's Christmas was as blessed as mine! I was privileged to enjoy the presence of God, and the presence (and presents...haha!) of my family! Seriously, praise be to God for His many blessings!!

christmas eve eve

2005-12-23T18:31:00.000-06:00

Hey All! Hope this finds everybody healthy, happy, warm, and safe! This week has been kinda crazy, what with sickness, and changing plans, but I am grateful to be alive and I'm so thankful for my family and friends. What would life be without the people we love and the people who love us...? Hmmm...wow! Not good I think.

So anyway, I am going to go spend some quality time with my brother and my nephew but I just wanted to post something and wish everybody a Merry Christmas Eve Eve! Hope your Christmas is wonderful in every way!!

Love to all!!

over the river and through the woods

2005-12-17T11:54:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'm not sure why the title. I think hearing about everyone's travel plans has put me in the mood. (To travel.) Yeah, so anyhow, to everyone reading this, I hope you are safe over the Christmas holiday, and I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating the birth of our Savior, wherever you happen to be!

My week was really long and I'm pretty glad that it's over. Lots of crazy things happened this week, not the least of which I tried to burn my classroom down. It was quite traumatic, but thankfully, the only lasting damage is a couple of scorched spots on the carpet. (My tissue box got too close to my burning candle...arrrggghhh!)

Tonight is the faculty/staff Christmas dinner. I had a miserable night (couldn't sleep) because I think I'm getting sick, so I'm not sure whether I will make it over there. I feel like I am coming down with some kind of cold...I hope that's all it is!!

I saw Narnia last night! I do not have the "background" of having read the books, and did not even know the story all that well, but it was an amazing movie nonetheless! I'm really glad I got to see it. The allegorical nature of the story is quite moving. Do people get how symbolic it really is???

This week, we have school through Wednesday, then on Thursday I am taking my nephew and going to Branson where my parents will be all week, enjoying their time share. My brother will come down later that night. We will be in Branson until sometime Saturday, then we will head over to Tulsa to spend Christmas and Christmas Eve with my dad's side of the family. They have not met Alex yet, so it will be a lot of fun! On Monday, we are coming home. It should be a really fun time.

Well, I hope everyone is doing well, enjoying your weekend, and that the coming week is fantastic! If you're traveling somewhere, please be careful, and above all, remember to celebrate the coming of Christ into our world and into our lives. If not for that, all is lost.

seasons of love

2005-12-08T18:19:00.000-06:00

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

It's time now to sing out,
tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love!
Remember the love! Remember the love!
Measure in love.
Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

let it snow

2005-12-08T07:24:00.000-06:00

It snowed! A lot! YAY! We got like a foot of snow! That's so amazing! It is, however, extremely, bitterly cold...so everyone who goes outside today needs to be very careful! K? =) We got a snow day from school so now...I've got to decide what to do. Sleep? Mmmm...maybe. ;) Probably. Well, I hope everyone has a good day. If you read this, leave a comment. =) Love to all!

my xanga and stuff

2005-12-06T20:06:00.000-06:00

For those of you who don't know, I occasionally post at www.xanga.com/tawnyasmith. Sometimes I update it more often than this one. Usually I post about the same thing. Once -- and only once -- I even copy and pasted!! LOL!!

So this has been an interesting week so far. Yesterday was not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Friday night, someone had taken a fire extinguisher and sprayed it all over the inside of my bus. Sooo...yesterday morning, we had to clean it up before morning route. To put it mildly, the dispatcher at the bus company (who shall remain unnamed) was less than helpful. Anyway, it was disgusting because the stuff was like really thick, nasty chalk dust and we were trying to sweep it out and wipe it off the seats...nasty!! We finally got it cleaned up enough to drive the route, but it was still disgusting. Thankfully, Suzy got ahold of her dad, who works in the shop at the bus company, and he came and got our bus and took it down and they cleaned it out for us!! That was very cool of him and them!! Thanks Bob!! =)

After morning route, I had a dentist appointment. It took a lot longer than what I thought it would, so I actually missed the whole day of school! It ended up being kind of nice, since I was at the school all day Saturday and it didn't seem like much of a weekend. But (back to the dentist) I did get my permanent crown put on so it's a lot better now! Thank goodness!

Well, I hope everyone is doing good!! Keep in touch!!

good times

2005-11-27T23:53:00.000-06:00

What a great weekend! God is so good!! He has allowed so many wonderful people into my life...I am eternally grateful!

I am so glad for the opportunity I had to spend time with my wonderful family and great friends on Thanksgiving! It was an incredible day!!

I'm glad that I got to see Darren today! That was so great! I have really missed him while he's been in DC! He's going back tomorrow, but he'll be back for 2 weeks for Christmas! Yay!! He's such a sweetheart and I'm really glad we got to hang out for awhile tonite!

So yeah...I'm grateful for the wonderful weekend and I'm happy to be going back to school and work tomorrow. I truly am. I am so blessed!!

so thankful

2005-11-24T18:17:00.000-06:00

Thank you very, very, very much...

Ya know that song? Well, that's how I feel today.

I am extremely, eternally grateful today...

For my family...
For my friends...
For my students...
For my church...
For my job...
For my school...
For my youth group...

FOR YOU!! If you are reading this, it's cuz you are a friend, or a friend of a friend, so that means I'm thankful for you! Thank you for being my friend or my friend's friend!! Seriously, it means to much to me to have so many wonderful people in my life. I have so many, many things and people to be thankful for, I could never name them all...

Thank you, God, for being my Savior and my Friend. Thank you for my wonderful Christian heritage, and my supportive and loving family. Thank you for the incredible friends you have sent into my life. Thank you for the amazing students with which you have blessed my life. Thank you for providing for me by giving me a wonderful job (several of them, in fact) and for allowing me to teach at a Christian school where I can teach about you. Thank you for my awesome church and youth group and the incredible blessing they are in my life! I could never thank you enough! I love you, Jesus.

I love you Friends and I love you Family! Thanks for being an important part of my life and for allowing me to share in yours! I love and appreciate you very much and I hope this Thanksgiving is wonderful for you, and that the holiday season is a blessed and Christ-centered one! May God bless each and every one of you!

rate my life

2005-11-23T06:46:00.000-06:00

Okay, as Kelso says, everyone else is doin' it, so here goes...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.7
Mind:	7.3
Body:	5.9
Spirit:	9.2
Friends/Family:	7.1
Love:	3.8
Finance:	5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

life in drive

2005-11-22T13:28:00.000-06:00

For those of you who don't know, I also have a Xanga. I sometimes update it a little more often, but here is what I posted on it last night...

Have you seen those car commercials? Life in drive? I don't even know what car it is, but I like the commercials. Cuz it makes me think of my life. Sometimes...my life is in overdrive...but it's all good...

So I had a great weekend. Everything went well, thanks to all the help and prayers of so many people! We had a lot of fun, and I got totally exhausted! First of all, Friday night (Homecoming) was great! With only a few minor problems, the entire night was good. The lock-in went well, and I think everybody had a great time. We came home about 8 AM on Saturday morning and slept till like 3:30! That was awesome.

It was also awesome to have my nephew, Alex, with us for awhile this weekend. Scott went and got him Saturday morning (his mom and sisters didn't end up coming) and took him back Sunday night. It was a lot of fun having him here. He is an adorable kid and I look forward to getting to know him better. He's almost 10, by the way.

Today went well. It also went fast. Tomorrow is my last day of school and work for the week! Yay! I am so excited!! On Wednesday, I get to have brunch with Leandra (yay), go to the dentist (ick), and go see Rent when it opens! SO EXCITED!!!

Tonight I went to a sneak preview of The Producers with my friend Jenn. Oh my word. Guys, that movie is so funny. I am not gonna recommend it, cuz frankly, there are some pretty disturbing and offensive things in it, but Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane are just insanely hilarious.

Thursday is going to be so amazing because we are gonna have like 15 people at my house for Thanksgiving! And then we're gonna go down for the Plaza Lighting Ceremony and on Friday, we'll probably sleep in then go shopping and then Friday night we're gonna have a Friends marathon and watch the 10th season! (Anyone who's in the area and is a Friends fanatic is welcome!)

It's just gonna be an amazing week and I am so excited!! Hope you are all having a fantastic week so far and that your holiday goes really, really well!! E-mail, call, or post a comment! Love to all!!!

it's been awhile...

2005-11-17T22:02:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted for awhile. The past few weeks have gone by really quickly! I've been extremely busy! This week is incredibly busy with all the Homecoming stuff going on. Today I took a bunch of girls to the CYT (Christian Youth Theatre) production of "Beauty and the Beast" at YouthFront. I think everyone enjoyed it. It was fun just to be together. Then tonite was the Homecoming Banquet. We went to Cinzetti's. There were 25 of us, and we had a great time! The girls were absolutely gorgeous in all of their dresses and the guys were handsome too! Tomorrow I get to spend the day in the gym decorating for Homecoming which is tomorrow night. We have some cool things planned, and I think it's going to look really great. The festivities tomorrow start at 6 PM -- during half-time of the alumni game, we will have the Crowning Ceremony for the Homecoming Royalty of 2005. After the games are over, the lock-in will begin and will go all night until 7 AM! It promises to be a fun, but exhausting day and night! To top it all off, my nephew and his mom and sisters are coming up tomorrow night and staying the weekend. That will be fun -- I just hope I have time to actually spend with them!! I will have to make time!

Well, anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know what's going on with me, and to let you know I'm alive and well...and busy! Take care everybody! Leave a comment! Love to all!!

what a life

2005-11-07T13:39:00.000-06:00

Isn't life amazing! I am continually amazed by life. Maybe some of you have become complacent with life...I hope not! Have you lost your wonder? I hope not! Life is amazing! Life is filled with so many challenges and so many blessings and so many responsibilities and disappointments and failures and victories...I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the idea. It seems that when God sends challenges into my life, He also sends a blessing right along with it! When I have a difficult student in my class (for example), God also makes sure there is a student who comes along and blesses me with laughter or inspiration...or both! I am grateful for the balance...the beauty along with the ashes, so to speak. And...to be somewhat random, I will leave you with this. Have you ever wondered about the beauty of the process of death? Just look at the trees right now and you'll see what I mean.

Happy November!

2005-11-02T18:09:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone is having a happy November so far! I have been incredibly busy! But there are good things going on...like....

~Went to Branson this weekend and got to experience Silver Dollar City (or as the locals call it, Steal Your Dollar City...haha...). There is nothing that quite compares to the sights, smells and tastes of SDC in the fall!

~Spent some quality time over the past couple of days with my fellow-teachers at the annual teachers' convention. It was lots of fun!

~God is teaching me some wonderful lessons! Maybe I'll be able to share more of them with you later.

~My family got some interesting and exciting news today. Maybe I'll be able to share it with you sometime soon as well. Stay tuned!!

Okay, I'm gonna stop there but I just thought you would like to know that good things are going on. Life is beautiful!!

forever friends

2005-10-20T19:21:00.000-05:00

You know what I love? Well, lots of things. But, as I've mentioned to some of you recently, I love it when friends come unexpectedly back into my life. See, I love my friends. I might have mentioned that before. And I suffer much trauma when changes happen that take them out of my life. I might have mentioned that before too. ANYWAY, I absolutely LOVE it when those people just pop back into my life and brighten my day! That has happened several times recently, and I just wanted to say it makes me happy when I am reminded that forever friendship really does exist.

Blur

2005-10-10T18:16:00.000-05:00

Today felt like a blur. Such a blur. Maybe mostly cuz this weekend went by so quickly and was so full of things to do! On Saturday, I had to get up really early to go to our Skeen family reunion in Wichita. My aunt and uncle, my cousin Debbie and her two kids Madison (2) and Chase (4 months) and my other cousin Aaron picked me up at 8:30 that morning. That's early for Saturday! Like I told them, there's nothing like a family reunion to ruin a perfectly good Saturday. LOL. Of course, I was mostly kidding. Anyway, it was a fun day and we did have a good time with all the family.

Then on Sunday morning, I held baby Chase almost the whole service, until I thought my arms would fall off. He weighs 17 pounds and he was asleep the whole time. After church we had dinner in the CLC because we had the Life Chain right after that. We all went to the Life Chain together, including the babies, and that was lots of fun. Even tho it's supposed to be a kind of solemn event, it was still fun. I got to see some people (former students and such) that I hadn't seen in a loooong time so that was amazingly cool!

Sunday afternoon we just sat around and talked and I graded papers, cuz I have so much to do before the quarter ends this week. After Sunday night church, we had a birthday party for Aaron cuz he will turn 31 on the 11th (tomorrow!) {Happy Birthday, Aaron!} Aunt Wanda made a chocolate sheet cake (yum!) and she made barbeque hamburger steaks which were amazing. We laughed and laughed at Madison because she figured out that if she did something cute, we would all clap at her, so instead of doing the cute stuff, she would just start clapping, hoping we would all join in. LOL. It was so funny. I think my brother got most of it on video so that should be hilarious to watch!

When I got home, it was close to midnight, and I just kinda fell into bed and I slept so hard that when my alarm went off this morning, I thought it was something else. I was dreaming that my car door was open, and my keys were in the ignition so it was making that annoying beeping sound. So I shut the car door and the beeping noise kept going. That's cuz it was really my alarm. Duh, Tawnya!

So today was a blur. I had so much to do and it felt like I was moving in a dream. Weird, huh! This week is going to go so fast -- I can just feel it. It's the last week of the quarter and I need to get busy with grading and all the other stuff that goes along with ending the quarter. Sigh...

Well, I hope everybody had a great day. It was beautiful here in KC. Great fall weather! Cara and I went walking this afternoon and it was just incredible out there!

I'm out, till next time.

Blessings

2005-10-06T00:07:00.000-05:00

My nephew Colton drew this picture at school and it was posted online today. I'm very proud of him for his artistic ability. Don't you just love the colors?

I am very thankful for so many things. I thought I would just mention a few of them.

Friends. I'm thankful for my friends. Each of my friends is special and unique. I have the best friends in the world. Guy friends, girl friends, old friends, young friends...so many varieties and versions! It's amazing how many wonderfully different types of people God made. I am so grateful that we are not all alike!

Family. My family is amazing! I love the fact that God blessed me with wonderful Godly parents, a Christian home and heritage, and loving people who care about me even though they've known me all my life!

Students. My students are also my friends, but I'm so glad for the students God has sent my way this year! What a blessing they are! Even if I'm bummed out when I get to school, my students never fail to cheer me up and remind me why I'm there. The challenges and rewards cannot be expressed.

Those are just a few. There are so many other things that I could mention. My car. Movies. My church. Health. God's Word. So many blessings! What a great life! Life! Life is a blessing! Wow.

Gotta go to bed. I love you all. Leave me a comment and let me know you're alive and well. =)

Happy October

2005-10-01T07:18:00.000-05:00

It's early Saturday morning, and I'm up, and I have no idea why! I will probably go back to bed here in a little bit and see if I can sleep some more. I love Saturdays! Days when I can just do my own thing and get caught up on things I don't have time for during the week! Cuz believe me, there are lots of things I don't have time for during the week!

So last night we rented and watched two great movies. Sahara (which I had already seen) and The Longest Yard (which I had not.) Steve Zahn makes me happy. I don't care what he's doing, or whether he's trying to be funny or not, he just makes me laugh. And Adam Sandler...always good for a laugh! There were a few objectionable parts to that movie but it was funny!

Anyway, today I am going to try to do some cleaning and organizing of the mess that is my life. I am not a very organized person, as some of you know, but the last few weeks have been so busy that I feel my entire life is in disarray. It's time to fix that so I can be more productive!

Better go...love to all!

Ignorance

2005-09-29T12:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't really want to dignify what happened last night with a response, but I know some of you will wonder what has happened to my blog...

Last night someone posted a really ridiculous, profanity-filled comment on my blog. I knew that none of you would want to be exposed to that kind of filth (neither did I, but I didn't have much of a choice) so I have taken down the ability to post comments, and also all the links to everything that is near and dear to me. You never know what someone who portrays that kind of ignorance is capable of.

You all know my e-mail, so you can contact me that way, but you will not be able to post comments for awhile. It's just sad that we have such ignorance running rampant in the world!

Cheerio!!

Fall

2005-09-28T23:49:00.000-05:00

Hey, I think fall is finally here!! Yay!!!

Oh, and I got my Russia pictures back today! That is way exciting! I will try to post some soon!!

Have a quality day and night, etc., till next time. ;)

Untitled

2005-09-28T14:03:00.000-05:00

Life is so interesting. It's impossible to expect anything, because life is so full of the unexpected.

Those of you that know me well know that I am not given to emotional outbursts. I am an extremely emotional person, but not so that anyone would notice...in other words, I usually appear to be on an emotionally even keel. And, usually, that assumption would be accurate because my emotions do not control me. To state the fact succinctly (maybe it's too late for that!): I am an emotionally stable person.

The other thing you should know about me is that while things like the weather do not usually affect me emotionally, change does. I do not like change. I like routine and familiarity. I have a hard time dealing with the changes that occur as a normal rite in the passage of time.

One of these changes that is hard for me is when friendships change. I find myself completely emotionally traumatized when a relationship is broken, but even the "ebbs and flows" in a friendship affect me greatly. I suppose we would all prefer, to a certain extent, to stay close to the people we care about. I am not suggesting that I am alone in this, or that my feelings are unique to me. Whatever the case, my emotions are dealt a hard blow when I am forced to realize that something within a friendship has changed.

Okay, enough generalizing. Last night, for the first time in a long time, I was able to take some time for focusing inwardly and taking stock of my life, and I was confronted with the reality that life is full of changes! When I compare my life right now with this time last year, I am amazed at the changes in relationships that have taken place. People I thought I would never be close to are now some of my closest friends. Others that I was close to are now a distant memory of closeness and sharing. The latter are the changes that make me sad. In fact, last night, I became quite melancholy (what a great word!) thinking about this. It's truly depressing to think about some of the people whose friendship I valued, but who did not care enough to try to keep in touch and stay close. I will admit that I went to bed without resolving anything, although I did refuse to allow myself a pity party!

This morning I woke up determined to commit those things to God and let Him control the direction of my life and my relationships. And I did that. And I received several assurances that His promises are true.

Around 7-7:15 this morning, the light was very weird in the KC metro area, for lack of better terminology. I guess it was the early morning sunlight shining through all the humidity, but the light was kind of yellowish-orange. Very weird. Anyway, just as I was getting ready to drive my bus, I saw the most amazing thing. A rainbow. A full rainbow making its perfect arch right over the school. It reassured me that God knows what He's doing, He's got His eye on me and His hand over my life.

Before I got off bus run, one of my friends who I am trying to keep in contact with called and left a message, asking me to get together with her next week. A reminder of God's love shining through my friend.

A text message from my cousin came mid-morning, telling me it's National I LOVE YOU Day and that he loves me. When I sent the message on to several people, one of my friends that I hadn't heard from in a long time responded, telling me he loved me and would call me later.

A friend that I hadn't seen in about a week came in to see me during class today, just to check up on me and say hi.

All of these things may seem small to you, but they were all evidences to me of God's hand on my life. I hope that He keeps opening my eyes to the fact that He brings blessings into my life every day, and I pray that I have the good sense to recognize His amazing presence!

Rain...

2005-09-23T13:51:00.000-05:00

It's raining today. I'm not complaining, because it is a relief from the heat. And it keeps reminding me to pray for those people down in Texas who are trying to get away from the hurricane. There are lots of people I know down there -- I hope they are all (the ones I know and the ones I don't) okay and able to get to safety.

Rain is a funny thing. Not funny ha-ha, you understand. Just funny. Maybe it's not funny so much as unusual in that there are so many different perspectives on rain.

I grew up in Arizona near the desert. Rain there is rare and welcome. It is dry, dry, dry there most of the time. Rain is associated with blessing and abundance. If it gets too dry, people and animals suffer, and things catch on fire. Like the song "Showers of Blessing" the people there often associate rain with outpourings of God's mercy, grace, love...etc.

In the moisure-drenched Midwest, however, things are much different. Of course, sometimes there are "draughts" when it doesn't rain for, like, a week. And people panic and talk about how "dry" it is. Well, until the trees shrivel up and the ground starts to crack, and the rivers and streams become dry-bedded "washes," it's not dry. I think of the song "It Won't Rain Always" and figure it wasn't written by someone in the Southwest. The connotation of rain in that song is negative. It portrays rain as depressing and something to be dreaded by saying, "It won't rain always...the sun will shine again."

I don't think either viewpoint is necessarily "right" or "wrong." I just think it emphasizes the uniqueness and diversity of America. I find it very intriguing.

Interesting? I think so.

See You...

2005-09-21T14:13:00.000-05:00

...At The Pole (www.syatp.com) was this morning. We (OCH people) gathered at our flag pole for prayer at 9:00 AM. I know, not as early as most of the public schools, but because of the fact that we have late arrival on Wednesdays...it had to be late. Anyway, we had some unexpected grade school kids show up, and I think I counted around 34 people there, including all the students, teachers, and parents. It was good. Good that people showed up to pray for our school and country. Good that we were a witness to our community. Good that we have a free country that allows us to gather and pray in freedom and without fear. Thank God for freedom!

Goodbye, Summer

2005-09-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

Well, since today is the last full day of summer...I just wanted to say that I am SO READY for fall! I'm ready for cooler weather. Ready for the trees to turn (beautiful!) and I'm ready to wear sweaters and jeans. I love fall!

It has been really, really hot this week so that's one reason I'm so ready for fall. Afternoons on the bus have been absolutely miserable! Yesterday wasn't too bad, but Tuesday was hot and humid. Today is supposed to be really bad too, but then tomorrow it is supposed to cool down. Anyway...the heat is really getting to me and frying my brains if you couldn't tell. ;)

The week has been going pretty well I think. I'm still having a hard time catching up on all the sleep I've missed over the past month. Just as I start to get caught up, something else happens and then I've got to start all over. But it's okay...I'll get caught up sooner or later.

Well, I hope everyone is doing well and that everyone at ministers' conference has a good time and hurries back...and that all you other peeps are doing great and hopefully I'll get to see ya soon!!

Much love to all!

Arrrggghhhh!

2005-09-19T20:10:00.000-05:00

Ever felt this way?

Does anybody know how I feel?
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome
Does anybody care what's going on?
Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm
For you to see me, I need release

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?
'Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me
Do I need to scream?

Has anybody seen what's been done?
Where was my defense? No one heard my protest
The eyes of God were watching me
It's time to make my peace, let it go and be released
So I can breathe again
I'm on my knees

I've been marked, set apart
But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark
One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand
Is enough to heal me and make me stand

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream for Him to hear me
Don't have to bleed for Him to see me
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me
I don't have to scream
I don't have to bleed
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening
And I don't have to scream

~Zoegirl - Scream Lyrics

What a week!

2005-09-18T22:21:00.000-05:00

Well, I've got to say that I never cease to be amazed at all the things a week can hold! This has been a week filled with extreme pain and loss, but also blessing and relief! It has been yet another reminder that life is a journey. Every day brings a new experience from which we can either learn or grow bitter. There are many changes throughout life, and some of them will be easier than others. Life, when lived to the fullest, is a plethora of growth. Nothing in life is accidental or meaningless. Check out Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 --

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

These verses are a reminder to me that there is a reason for everything that happens in life. Someone a whole lot wiser and all-knowing than I am has things under control! What a relief to know that everyone I love is in God's hands. No matter what happens to me or to the ones I love, I can trust in the wisdom of God -- He knows best! Thank you, God, for being so good!

Not for fun...

2005-09-13T20:55:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow night my family and I are flying "home" to Arizona. This trip is going to be very difficult as we are going to say a final goodbye to someone we love, and to do what we can to help his family through the devastating task of burying one so young and promising. There is nothing easy about this. It is impossible to understand. All we can do is hold God's hand and encourage others to do the same. How thankful I am that God is my Rock! Thank you all for praying!

Passages

2005-09-10T10:06:00.000-05:00

One day, he's living his life, and you don't even realize it because you've lost touch with him and he's in another state. Nevertheless, he lives his life, you live yours, and you take the whole arrangement for granted. Then you get a phone call. You find that, while you were living your life in your normal if somewhat random way, his ended. Suddenly. Tragically. And everything changes. You realize that life is fragile. Life is unpredictable. Life is, as I said yesterday, sometimes unfathomable. You are glad that God is in control. You are glad that He knows what He's doing. And you hope that good can come of what seems to be a senseless tragedy.

Life

2005-09-09T20:10:00.000-05:00

Life is crazy sometimes. The past few weeks have taught me a lot about life. I can't really explain it, but it's true. It's been a good learning process. Occasionally I am amazed by the fact that no matter what, life always has something to show me. I know that "life" is a big, broad, unfathomable (at times) word. That's why I'm using it.

Tonight I am amazed at the miracle of life. I spent a few hours holding my precious newest niece who was born Tuesday night, and I rejoice in the miracle. God is good. He allows such beauty and innocence to flower in the darkness and violence that is our world. Through the tragedy and the heartache and the brokenness that is life in a fallen world, he brings the majesty of new life. I am amazed.

Also, I have come to the realization (over the past few months, but emphasized even more this week) that I do not have the time or the energy to harbor anger and resentment toward people. Life is too short. I need the energy for other, more productive, purposes. So I have been learning to let things go. I can't change people. I can't make them have better attitudes or be more attentive to my feelings or leave their addictive habits behind...all I can do is pray for them and then change myself. I can change my attitudes. I can love unconditionally. I can be accepting and not judgmental. I can learn to accept people as they are and not as I wish they would be. When they offend me, I can take the high road and let it go. When I feel slighted, I can think the best of them and let it go. When old hurts surface, I can remind myself that I let it go a long time ago. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

So...life is crazy, yes. Crazy, but good. Life is good because God is good.

Back home...

2005-09-06T00:51:00.000-05:00

I'm home! Got back Friday night and I'm still kinda recuperating. That jet-lag is a killer! Anyway, I had an awesome trip and I will try to post some things about it later.

Not so random...

2005-08-16T01:53:00.000-05:00

Alrighty...as promised, I am going to explain a little about where I'm going tomorrow. After school is out at noon, my aunt and uncle are picking me up and we are driving to Denver. On Wednesday morning, my cousin, his cousin, and I are flying out of DIA to Dulles in Washington, DC. There we will meet up with the rest of our team (from Oregon) and we will fly to St. Petersburg, Russia -- via Vienna. :) We are going to lose nine hours on the way there! When we get there on Thursday, we will begin our two weeks of ministry...because it is, after all, a Work and Witness trip. As far as we know, we will be working on a property that has been purchased for the pupose of a youth camp. We will also be visiting at least one orphanage and we will do some sightseeing as well. :) We arrive back in Denver on August 31st so I expect to be back in KC sometime Labor Day weekend. I will most likely not have internet access but I'll keep in touch as much as possible. For those that know my parents, you can contact them for updates while I'm gone as I'll probably be in touch with them the most. Otherwise, have a great two weeks and I'll talk to ya when I get back! God bless!!

My friends...

2005-08-16T00:38:00.000-05:00

I have such funny friends. I would love to tell you all about all of them, but I don't have time. They are just so funny. They make me laugh. Sometimes they are funny without meaning to be, which is even funnier. Funny. That's another word that sounds weird when you say it a bunch of times. Anyway, I thank God for my friends, seriously. I don't know what I'd do without them. Certainly wouldn't laugh as much. That's for ding-dang sure. Hah. I love every single crazy one of them. And the married ones too....:D HAH! What is it they say? Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life, or something like that? I dunno, but for sure they are a necessity in my life! Thank God for my funny friends!

4 days...

2005-08-13T14:40:00.000-05:00

In four days, I'm going to Russia. Wow. Hard to believe. I know that's not very random, but that's my life right now. Getting ready for school and getting ready for Russia. I'll miss the first three weeks (approximately) of school, which means I've got to have everything ready for my substitute. Kinda overwhelming. But I'm going to Russia via Denver, Washington D.C., and Vienna! So excited!!

Random

2005-08-13T00:08:00.000-05:00

Have you noticed that when you say the word "random" often enough within a short amount of time, it starts to sound weird? Like, is it even a word? Random. So weird.